This week we have got a lot on our plate again:
Sunday was church--the kids are really starting to enjoy going, although Emerald seems nervous and unsure and very shy. I should have probably suspected that seeing as I myself am quite the introvert, but Michael is so gregarious when he wants to be and Emerald takes after him so much, it is odd to see glimpses of myself in her. Gabriel can sit and focus once he gets the general idea, but he still makes at least one attempt at a jail break each class. It makes me nervous, because generally speaking, Gabriel can get out the door and down the hall before someone catches up to him; but his teachers are getting more adept at corraling him during his escapes. The fact that they are getting to know him as an individual is really encouraging, and gives me more hope that they will be able to contain his....energy and enthusiasm in future class times.
Today (Monday) we had speech therapy for Gabriel. Emerald will not have speech again until the school year starts, in which she will most likely be attending HeadStart and receiving her speech therapy there. I am still incredibly apprehensive about sending her to a preschool so very far away, but I have heard nothing but good things about the school and their facilities and how beneficial this program will be for Emerald, so I haven't chickened out quite yet.
As for Gabriel's speech, we found out that our case manager/speech therapist--the one that has worked with our family from the very beginning, when Emerald was first needing help--is not going to be with the ECI program next year; so as of mid-August, we will have a new Speech therapist.
Maybe it is the deeply ingrained Church of Christ in me that rebels against all forms of change, but I am starting to get a little panicky about the amount of things that are in transition this fall. First, we will lose Cassie, whom we all adore. Our pediatrician has accepted a fellowship elsewhere and we will have a new one as of August. Emerald will start preschool. I will bring home a new infant...
I know change can be a good thing, but I prefer it in small, manageable doses, allowing me to adjust a little at a time. Relinquishing some control will probably be good for me, however--being a parent is all about rolling with the punches.
Anyways, Tuesday (tomorrow) Michael and I will meet with Dr. Driskell to officially go over the results of the autism screening we had a few weeks ago and hear the official diagnoses. At the last appointment, she guaranteed we would be leaning toward PDD or autism, and this will be when we hear the final definitive answer. Of course, Michael and I are (as previously stated) treating this diagnoses more as a "high risk for PDD/Autism", something to work on and keep an eye on until he is of a more appropriate age to communicate; but this opens doors and provides resources that may help Gabriel catch up in the areas he is delayed.
I am not entirely certain what to expect from this appointment--the general overview that she gave us last time was that she would go over the results from all the paperwork we filled out and all the specialists reports and her own observations; she would discuss all these things with us, provide resources, answer any questions, as well as provide us with some literature so that we can start educating ourselves with what we are dealing with here.
Tuesday afternoon, Gabriel and Emerald will go spend some time with Grannymom and DadDad so that Michael can take me to my Dr. Hales appointment. I am very, very thankful to them for watching the kids so that Michael can come with me. At the very least, this is going to be a 3-D ultrasound, which he would be sad to miss.
The good news is that I have gotten Benjamin's movements up into a normal range--he is hitting the kick mark twice a day, every day now. Whether that is because of what I do, or just because he is bigger and getting more active...who knows. But that is a plus side.
The bad news is that I am having the hardest time controlling my blood sugar. It is frequently too high, and I keep falling into dizziness/light-headed spells that sap my energy and my strength when I am supposed to be watching two very energetic, lively toddlers. The worst part is when I come out of them very disoriented and confused, which means that I don't know how to care for myself to rectify the problems, or how to effectively communicate my needs to someone else (i.e. Michael) so that he can help me fix the problem.
Those..."episodes", I guess you could call them (although that makes them seem much more serious than they actually are) particularly suck for the simple fact that I don't know what causes them, which means it is hard to pinpoint how to fix it. It could be low or high blood sugar--if it is low, I need to eat; if it is high, I need to walk around the block for a bit. If it is low blood pressure (brought on by the uncontrolled glucose issue), I need to do more vigorous exercising that really gets my heart pumping. If it is just the heat, I need to lay down and cool down....for all I know, it is just Benjamin pressing on that big blood vessel back there (which has happened before) and cutting off blood flow to my brain, which can be fixed by shifting positions. It's hard to know what to do in those situations.
Tomorrow at the Dr. Hales appointment, he will check the amniotic fluid level to make sure that the diabetes is not directly and quantifiably affecting the baby (too high of a level means an increase in urination--sign of diabetes), as well as to check the growth of Ben to make sure he is not on the path to macrosomia (huge baby).
Wednesday, Gabriel has his ABR (Auditory Brainstem Response) as the final check on his hearing. I am hoping it will go well and he will allow the monitors to be placed and kept on his head; but if Gabriel is anything, it is unpredictable.
Thursday is simply an ECI day--we will meet with Tammy in the morning and Kelli in the afternoon. When Cassie leaves, Tammy will be our new case manager because she has spent so much time with the family and is so familiar with the case.
So, all in all--crazy busy week. Trying to stay positive and calm; doing my "Yoga Mama" with Emerald, though Gabriel thinks Downward Facing Dog makes me a neat London Bridge analog.
I'll let you know how things go, and write about the journey to Gabriel's name =)
-Andie-
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