Walk for Autism

I promised Rhonda I wouldn't put the pictures I took of her at the walk on Facebook and I am keeping that promise--only a LINK to a site containing the picture is on Facebook! :-D

This past weekend was the Burkhart Walk for Autism here, and we signed up to represent Team Gaby! 

My family was not able to come because my sister Amber's birthday was the 20th and her party the 21st, so I don't begrudge their inability to attend. It was not a big deal anyway, I just wanted to go to see what everything was about. 

Friday we load up in the van to go to Walmart and get some supplies....and of course my van will not start. It is having the most bizarre electrical trouble that has rendered it undriveable, which is frankly a pain in the neck. The Peacocks graciously offered to watch the kids while Michael and I made the Walmart run. I got plain white t-shirts and fabric paint as well as a great deal of sunscreen so that we could make team shirts. Nothing fancy or formal, I just wanted something to commemorate the day. 

Saturday, I practice on one of Michael's ratty old undershirts before I start making the real ones. I give the practice shirts to the kids to color on...they really loved that. Gabriel showed an uncharacteristic desire to be involved, so sitting next to me and scribbling on that white shirt meant a lot to me. 

Beth came over to help and decorate her own shirt--in rainbow colors across the front each shirt said "Team Gaby". There was all ready a Team Gabriel and a Gabriel's Team (likely from the little boy in his class) so we became Team Gaby. On the sleeves were "2 0" and "1 2" (the date, just spread out), and on the back was the relationship to Gaby. Beth's said "Friend", Benjamin's "Lil Bro", Emerald "Big Sis", mine "Mama", Michael's "Daddy", and Gabriel's said "Star" and had two stars next to it. This being his day, I figured he should have a special shirt.

It was -only- supposed to be 85 degrees, so I sprayed all of us down from head to foot with the strongest sunscreen I could find as well as insisting on hats for those who could tolerate them (Emerald and Benjamin).  Ken came home from work so that he would be able to attend and we all drove over to Jones Stadium together. 

Once we got there, there was a long line to get free t-shirts. It moved fairly quickly with Benjamin sleeping in the stroller, Gabriel riding on Michael's shoulders, and Emerald getting to play inside a firetruck. That just made her day--I think Gabe may have liked it too if it weren't so very red and noisy. We met up with Beth and David while we were in line and went in together. 

Inside, they had bouncy houses set up so Michael, Glo, and Pawpaw took the bigger kids to go jump while the Peacocks and I took little Ben to look at the booths. 

I honestly did not know what to expect. I have been to walks before, but they involved very little walking to be honest. At the Breast Cancer "walks" I have attended, my friends and I mostly flirted with boys, ate tons of food, and gathered one of every free giveaways in sight. That being said I know that some walks are actually intended to walk but there is usually some incentive for walking--you get sponsors to give you money to walk that you then give to the charity. This had none of that, and I went in completely unaware of how this event was going to go.  

(Gabriel kissing Daddy on the top of the head. He is a sweet boy.)

As it was, a sweet Autistic boy sang the national anthem, they turned on obscenely loud music, and we actually started walking!! This is not what I signed up for--it is ridiculously hot, we have three little children...we wanted bounce houses and information! 

So that is what we did. Sarah and Barbara showed up for a little bit though Barbara was immediately called back to work, and we let the kids run around and have fun while I talked to people about private therapies and hippotherapy and support groups. Sara Sue and her boyfriend Jason showed up right before we left, but it was so fabulous to see them. 

The kids were getting hot and restless so we took a group picture and headed home. Gabe fell asleep on the way and Emerald crashed as soon as we got home, and we decided most definitely that THIS weekend we are doing exactly SQUAT!!!

( Sorry Rhonda--it's not on Facebook!! I think it is a cute picture any way :)   )

--Andie!!--

Spring Days

Days have been gorgeous this spring--mornings have been pleasant and cool, days have been moderately warm (though temperatures have been growing more uncomfortable of late), which means that it is the best time to have the kids outside! 

The smell of morning is absolutely lovely, though Michael will tell you that compared to the mountain air of Colorado Lubbock smells simply of cow poo. 

One of our favorite activities is to have a picnic breakfast on the front porch. We get to see people as they are leaving for work or school and we speculate as to where they are going, the birds are tweeting in the trees and we try to mimic their calls, but mostly we sit there in the quiet calm of the morning and mentally prepare ourselves for the day. 

There has been a nauseating rise in the number of insects (namely, moths) in the area in the past month so some days our peaceful mornings are interrupted by the appearance of winged pests. I find the whole thing distasteful, but Michael has been spraying around our house to keep the worst of the bugs away so we remain relatively unhindered as long as we don't stray past the porch. 

Gabriel is still attending his special PPCD school, so most days are just Emerald, Benjamin, and me and the house. It seems to be getting better for Gabe at school and you can really see an improvement in his behavior at home, but his personality is changing. 

Things that once held his interest are completely ignored now such as the Toy Story movies (a favorite of his since he was little more than a baby), and he has more anxious moments that we can predict but not explain. For example, he is no longer able to watch Veggie Tales because there comes a time in nearly every episode that Qwerty the computer comes on the screen and they play the "what have we learned today" song...and something happens. He starts screaming, covering his eyes and banging his fists on his head, and if that does not illicit the desired response of "turn that crap off NOW", he has been known to attack others in the room--pulling hair, clawing at their faces, pushing them down. It is so unlike Gabe that it is thoroughly disconcerting and we have learned to all together avoid situations that will evoke such a fit from Gaby. 

The biggest change, however, is the level of his emotion. Emerald went out of town to visit Oma and Grandpop one weekend, and every half hour Gabriel would cover his eyes, uncover them and look about expectantly, then burst into tears. He was able to be consoled rather quickly, but he was looking for his sister and could not understand why he couldn't find her. He has never been without her for more than a day, and I think it unsettled him. Practically anything can set him off and unless you are paying the strictest attention, you cannot tell when it is coming or head it off before it begins.

Enough of that seriousness though. One of the best ways to ensure a pleasant evening is to take the kids out into the backyard as soon as Gabriel gets home and give them all a snack. Gabe's class eats lunch so dreadfully early that he is practically starving by the time he comes home from school, so I usually have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or frozen yogurt pop or popcorn trail mix prepared for him. And as you all know, you cannot possibly feed one child and not feed them all without inciting some kind of riot. 

I think staring off into space as he swings is a great way for Gabriel to unwind and get his spirit back. We have the little Fisher Price slide playhouse that is the perfect size for Benjamin to waller all over, and Emerald enjoys riding her scooter, playing with the dog, and watching clouds and airplanes. 

One problem we are having with Emerald recently is that she is four which means she officially knows more than all of us because of course she does. This means that she no longer believes us when we try to instruct her because naturally, she is right all ready. For the most part, it does not matter much--she is convinced my favorite color is green and all I eat is salad, my favorite food. Sure, why not. She can learn later on that those are not exactly correct in the strictest sense of the word (my favorite color being gold and hot wings being my most beloved food, but she is close enough). 

The problem it IS causing however is that she is mispronouncing a certain word that matters and adamantly refuses to believe anyone that attempts to correct her. She has been telling everyone about the pink shi* she sees in the sky. What she means is she sees a pink SHIP, but no amount of enunciation will convince her to use the "p". While embarrassing for me, it is good for us to remember this story for mercilessly teasing Emerald when she is older. 

The last thing that we have been up to on these gorgeous spring days is walking. As anyone will tell you, I am a shameless slacker hippie that does not drive but instead walks everywhere. Which means that the amount of outings we are capable of is directly determined by the weather. We are able to walk for most of the year to anywhere we feel like, but during the winter it is not safe to expose tiny (ha!) baby Benjamin to the cold (even though he is more padded than a polar bear with all his baby blubber). 

Our favorite places to go are the playground down the street, visiting Glo at work, the store, and the library. 

One morning, when we were inexcusably low on groceries (I had forgotten to go that week) and nothing appealed to the very opinionated Miss Emerald for breakfast, we loaded up in the stroller and headed out. We stopped by the store and picked up things for a picnic breakfast--naturally Emerald picked out Sunny D, chocolate donuts, and a banana while I got a Starbucks Mocha energy drink (that was entirely too fabulous for its own good) and a mango smoothie for Benji. 

The grass next to the library is absolutely perfect, soft and free of rocks or twigs or ants, which makes it ideal for eating outside! We set up our blanket and ate and waited for the library to open. 

The reason I got the idea to start taking them to the library was because Emerald saw a book she wanted to read in someone's office but we didn't have time to stop and read it--The Very Busy Spider by Eric Carle. We went down there the first day and read every Eric Carle book they had available while Ben crawled around on the big stuffed animals they have available. We checked out Pinocchio and a book for Emerald, then came back two days later and checked out some more.

They have puzzles in the kids sections so Emerald generally likes playing with those while I read aloud to her. My favorites are the Dr. Seuss and she enjoys Katy Duck, and it is such a peaceful little adventure for us to go on. The last time that we went, while we were leaving this sweet little girl ran up to me and asked so politely if she could play with Emerald. They invited us to stay for Story Time where Emerald behaved wonderfully as they sang songs, read five books about bugs and then gave her an art project to make her little bug.

I intended to go back today, but I have things to do that interfere :-S Maybe next week!

All in all, it is good to scope out what we are able to do before Gabe is out for the summer. I get so overwhelmed with all three of them all day long every day that it is so nice to be able to have somewhere to go.

Next post is about the Burkhart Walk for Autism!

--Andie--

Update! Easter

Normally, the lapse between updates is due to a lack of interesting things to report, but this time can be attributed to too much!! We have been busy like crazy cakes the last couple of weeks, and I have not been able to find time to write--our weekends have accounted for since the last in March.

As I said in the last post, Michael went to Houston to attend Casey's wedding. While he was gone, Rhonda took the kids and me shopping to outfit Emerald's room. Other than that, I mostly crocheted--a hobby I recently picked up from Beth--and cooked. I made homemade chicken nuggets with a wheat breading that they just loved, and we had brownie sundaes and apple cinnamon pancakes...it was a fun weekend. I had greatly doubted my ability to watch the three kids all by myself with Michael gone, but we had so much help that I handled just fine. 

The next weekend was Michael's birthday and Easter! 

This was Michael's 27th birthday, and I knew that he didn't want anything too big especially since I had all ready gotten him the PSVita as his birthday gift before he left for Casey's. Collaborating with Rhonda, we decided to just combine his birthday dinner with the Easter dinner we all ready had planned at her house. 

The Easter Bunny came while the children were sleeping that night and left their baskets hidden in the house. Benjamin got a stuffed soft ducky that said "My First Easter" on his belly, Cinnamon Teddy Grahams (which are good snacks for little teethers), a new Easter outfit in light blue, dark green, and white, and soft basketballs and footballs for him to chew on. 

Gabriel found his basket hidden in his room, with a Toy Story coloring book and markers, a frisbee, a slinky, a new polo shirt in dark blue and green, and a bubble blower that unfortunately seems to have had its fan installed backwards so instead of blowing bubbles it tried to suck them...obnoxious, but really--what kind of workmanship can you expect from a bunny? :-P

Emerald was the last to locate her basket (seeing as we made the kids watch as the others looked) in the nightstand in her room. Inside was a stuffed puppy wearing bunny ears, a doodle pad, a slinky, a jump rope, stamps, and a Disney Princess coloring book and markers. 

We didn't have to be at Rhonda's until eleven, so the children played all morning with their new presents and I got ready for us to go. 

Rhonda was making ham for Easter lunch, as well as grits and mashed potatoes and strawberry shortcake. I was contributing for Michael's birthday, so I brought black pepper turkey breast tenderloin, stuff to make green bean casserole, and a homemade cherry cheesecake. Michael's favorite dessert is cherry cheesecake but I have never attempted to make one before. All in all, it was tasty though a little ugly, lol. 

Lunch was awesome. Benjamin ate grits and mashed potatoes like he was starving, Emerald greatly enjoyed the ham and rolls. Gabriel of course ate less than we would have liked, but he picked at ham and green beans and the roll before we gave up and let him eat mixed nuts and peanut butter crackers. 

An aside here: There is something very strange with Gabriel that he loves all things nutty. It makes sense to some degree--the occupational therapist said that he seeks oral stimulation because of an underdeveloped sense of taste. Basically, food tastes abnormally bland to him, so he seeks textured things to chew to make up for it (things like chalk or cardboard). An acceptable alternative: the orally-appealing mixed nuts have those grooves and crunchy texture as well as a salty taste that is easier for him to detect. Either way the end result is a child that loves peanut butter and almonds, cashews, pecans, walnuts, and (especially) pistachios. 

Back to my Easter story. After lunch, Ben crawled on Pawpaw's chest and fell into a very deep sleep so Michael and I....errr, I mean the Easter Bunny, of course....hid eggs in the backyard for the older kids to hunt. 

Emerald got after hunting the eggs, but Gabriel did not feel so inclined. I think quantity did not matter so much to him as much as the knowledge of what the eggs contained. He gathered about 10 eggs with assistance, and then promptly started handing them to me to open. Once he had his stores, he was uninterested in seeking out more. Of course, Michael and I always divide the eggs equally between the children so if Gabe is not enjoying the actual seeking, I see no reason to force him. 

We all came back inside for dessert and to let Michael open his presents. I wanted him to have something to open from us while he was there so the kids got him the Blu-Ray copy of HBO's "Game of Thrones". Having watched an episode, I can tell you that it is going to be a great show, if not a little liberal with the amount of bared breasts. 

The next weekend, my parents came and got Emerald to go to Abilene for the weekend so that she could attend my nephew Andrew's pirate themed birthday party and to go to the play "Alice in Wonderland". The boys and I stayed home and had a more or less quiet weekend with Michael, as at the moment I cannot recall what we did other than play outside and enjoy each other's company. 

--Andie

IEP--6 Week Report

A while back, when we enrolled Gabriel in the special needs preschool program, I wrote out the itemized list of goals his teacher and I discussed for Gabe--in other words, his Individualized Education Plan or IEP.

A lot has happened in the last month that Gabriel has been in school; he went on his first field trip to the Texas Tech Museum to see the dinosaur exhibit and they have another one planned to Market Street to learn about good nutrition, and now they are having me peddle insulated tumblers to raise money for who knows what (if you want one, they are $10 each!).

Today, I got his first formal report on how he is doing working toward his goals and I figured I would share them here. It will mark the progress that is sometimes so slight we miss it, but is so very important as it shows who Gaby is becoming. Plus it is an eight-page report, and I cannot possibly save every one that they send home to me.

"In the area of behavior skills, Gabriel is very active and moves around quite a bit. He does need to have more of a physical support to follow directions, but does not fight or tantrum while doing so. He is very persistent on getting what he wants and will stay with an adult until he is able to get what is wanted. Gabriel has a hard time staying in a certain area for long amounts of time. he will become aggressive with friends in more of a play fashion rather than anger."

-Gabriel requires an adult to sit with him in all structured areas to stay in his spot. When he has reached his time limit, but the activity is still going on we will try a weighted lap belt or blanket to help calm him down. He has improved his sitting time and will even do some independent sitting for up to five minutes.

-Gabriel has not yet been able to express his wants and needs in an appropriate way. He is using some gestures such as grabbing a teacher by their hair or scratching, along with crying to let a teacher know that he does not like doing an activity.

"In the area of cognitive skills, Gabriel is not engaging in communication other than some signing and will give some verbal noises such as babbling or simply making noises."

-We have not yet started doing one-on-one activities with Gabriel because we are really wanting him to get used to all of the group activities and routines that we do in the classroom. When we do our activities he is still needing hand-over-hand to assist, but he is beginning to take some initiative and do independent coloring.

-Hand-over-hand support is needed to do matching activities in all settings of the classroom.

-Gabriel is not vocalizing words/numbers at this time. We are counting in various activities to give him the verbal and visual modeling from adults and peers to get him some experience with counting, but he is not ready to initiate this on his own.

"In the area of fine motor skills, Gabriel is seeking quite a bit of sensory input. When sensory activities are used before another activity, Gabriel tends to respond better. Gabriel is a good eater, but has a hard time trying new foods. Gabriel is very oral seeking, putting various items in his mouth that are not foods. Auditory sensitivity can be a problem for Gabriel as well."

-Hand-over-hand support with adaptive scissors is needed to cut a piece of paper. At this time Gabriel will not even really look at the activity we are working on so safety wise an adult gives him complete support.

-Right now, Gabriel is not working on writing shapes. We are working on doing independent scribbling and doing this for a longer length of time while looking at the paper. He is beginning to do this more and more.

-We have not seen too much sensory defensiveness at school thus far. We have done sticky, slippery, and wet activities and he has tolerated it very well. We are working on not putting inappropriate items in his mouth to eat.

"In the area of self help skills, Gabriel is able to express his needs and wants by reaching for things or bringing them to his parents."

-Gabriel is beginning to follow through with some of the routines that we are doing in the classroom. He knows now to go and sign in in the morning and even though he will not go to check his schedule, he is beginning to take a picture (not necessarily the correct one) off his schedule and match it (when placed in front of him) to the board.

-Gabriel is not requesting the need, at this time, to be changed or use the bathroom. We are not seeing a readiness for potty training quite yet. We are going to continue to work on peer modeling and scheduled diaper changes to work on some beginning skills.

-Gabriel is not a fan of brushing his teeth. We recently switched to toddler toothpaste to take away the strong toothpaste taste that he was having with the school provided toothpaste. This has not helped thus far, but we are hoping that just as the other routines will beginning to be a norm for Gab.

"In the area of social skills, Gabriel enjoys playing independently rather than in a group of kids or with his siblings."

-Gabriel is not participating in play at this time during inside or outside playtime. He primarily runs around and will not pick up a toy other than a book occasionally and will sit for up to three minutes. When adults bring him books or try to get him to sit with them, he does not show any interest.

-Hand-over-hand support is needed to participate in group settings where we share and take turns with various manipulatives.

While reading all of that, I tried very hard to keep in mind that Gabriel is held to a different standard that that of his brother or sister or age-appropriate peers because of his diagnosis. I think of it as the process of unlocking Gabriel--figuring out how he best learns, figure out what is going on in his head, and finding a way to reach him on his terms so that he can communicate and function in a world that will likely never feel comfortable to him. Never-the-less, it is a little discouraging to read how in six weeks we are progressing to sitting for up to five minutes and sometimes coloring a little.

That, however, is the wrong attitude to have and I recognize that. Focusing on the positive, the fact that Gabe is not exhibiting sensory defensiveness is a big deal. Since many autistic children find the sensations of normal life absolutely appalling, the fact that Gabriel is adapting to a variety of tactile experiences is encouraging. And we are seeing quantifiable progress--that is not always the case, where you can see regression or long-term stagnancy, it is good to see that this program is working for him. Any progress, no matter how small, will have been monumental to his teachers and to Gabriel himself.

--Andie

Daddy Trip Away

The last weekend in March was Casey's wedding. Casey is Michael's friend from college though they knew each other before then, and Michael was a groomsmen at the wedding. It was held in Houston, so unfortunately the kids and I were unable to go which meant that we were going to have a long weekend home alone without Daddy.

Michael's birthday was the 6th of April, so for his trip I bought him the early birthday present of a PSP Vita, which is a little video game console. It is pretty neat, I think, and it is good for long car rides and airplane flights and waiting in the airport, all the general tedium of out-of-town travel.

The Tuesday before he left, Rhonda invited me to a ladies' luncheon at LCU so I got to go to a fancy, girly lunch in the middle of the day...it was really nice. The speaker was this absolutely precious woman who seems very sweet, and we had stuffed chicken kiev. While I was at that, Michael took Emerald and Benjamin (Gabriel was at school) to special Daddy lunch. I told Emerald about having lunch with Glo and Grannymom, but the only thing she remembered from my story was that I didn't eat my salad!

Michael left at about 4.30 Friday morning, so Rhonda helped us get Gabe to school that morning. He rides the bus only in the afternoon right now and still has Daddy drop him off every morning. Rhonda only works a half day on Fridays so she asked if Emerald, Benjamin, and I would like to go to lunch and then shopping for Emerald's room.

I have been meaning to do something about Emerald's room for a while now because she needs a place that is her own, somewhere that reflects her personality and where she can go to be by herself. Unfortunately, interior design is so alien to me that I could not mentally pull together a coherent idea for her space. I was struggling isolating what she likes from what I like, what would make her happy, and how I would go about creating a room she would be happy in for a while. Do I go with a theme? Certain characters? What colors to use?

Luckily for me, my mother-in-law excels where I am so obviously inept at decorating. We decided the overall "theme" would be pink and girly, and play it by ear as to what we saw that we liked that reflected Emerald.

For lunch, we went to Emerald's absolute favorite--Furr's. I have to admit, I have never been a big fan of this senior-friendly cafeteria style restaurant, but now that I have children with a wide variety of tastes, it is an ideal place for our family. Emerald and Gabriel can chose foods based on their ever-changing palette and if they are unhappy with their choices they are free to get an alternative; and the mushy, soft foods that are predominately served are perfect for teething, curious Benjamin. It has been good for me as well as I am trying to watch what I eat--I get moderate portions and then share directly with Benjamin meaning that I eat less (he often eats more than I do!).

Emerald had a bit of a behavioral moment at Furr's, where she wanted to keep the bones from the fried chicken on her plate and decided screaming was the best way to address the situation. I am not in the least embarrassed by the kids' emotional outbursts, having had lots of practice with Emerald and Gabriel all ready, so she evened out quickly enough, apologized to Glo, and ate the rest of her meal in peace.

After Furr's, we went to Hobby Lobby which I would have never guessed...I go there for whatever craft of the week I have decided to try my hand at, but I didn't know they had adorable things for a little girls room. We picked out a lamp first--there were lots of cute pink lamps, like leopard print and some with fuzzy boas, pink and green plaid or polka dots, and all different sizes. Rhonda spotted a light pink one...it is hard to describe and I am having a wretched time trying to find a picture, but it is cylindrical and has wire white flowers on it...it is quite pretty.

At Hobby Lobby, we also found a round hot pink rug with multi-colored pom poms around the edge; a antique-looking pink light switch cover, and a big glittery turquoise "E" for her door. Emerald behaved herself well in that store.

After we left there, we went to Wal-Mart. We were hoping still to find curtains and a bedspread. Once there, though, Emerald started having trouble. She became attached to a blue stuffed bunny that she was very vocally unwilling to relinquish, she fought holding anyone's hand, wanted to run off and around, and showed zero interest in what we were trying to do. We couldn't find bedding or curtains that we liked, but we got her a new pillow and a long hot pink mirror for her closet door, as well as a few pairs of shorts as most of her wardrobe is more wintery.

Rhonda brought me back home, but took Emerald to her house to spend the night so that I would have only the two boys to deal with. Beth and David came over to visit for a while, then I made barbeque pork tacos and we went to bed.

It was a rough night. Gabriel wanted the television to be playing all night, not so that he could watch it but because he liked the noise. Well, all the noise and distractions and lights were keeping Ben up. I had been keeping the door to my bedroom closed so that Gabe would assume Daddy was back there and not gone, but he got up in the middle of the night and went searching for Daddy. When he discovered that Michael was not in bed, he had the biggest temper tantrum that I have ever seen from him--he was exhausted and terrified.

Saturday, Beth brought us donuts and kolaches for breakfast and when Rhonda brought Emerald back, we all loaded up (Beth included) to go to the Wal-Mart closer to our house to look for the finishing touches for Emerald's room. That store didn't have what we needed either, so we decided as a last Hail Mary to go to Target and see what they had to offer.

Right away, we find a gorgeous light pink quilt with ruffle flowers!! ....but it was silly expensive, and didn't even come with sheets or anything. So we keep looking and find a similar hot pink bed-in-a-bag with the decorative ruffles. We all three like it and Emerald seems to approve so we get that.

Everything said and done, the room looks really nice. She has her pink princess canopy with silvery stars and moons on it, and an explosion of pink all over everything. I am still looking for the words for her wall so that I can complete her picture and we never found curtains or blinds that we liked, but Emerald has her special little zone now :)

--Andie--