End of the School Year

Gabriel is officially out of school for the summer! I cannot yet tell you if I am excited to be spending more time with my little guy or petrified of the prospect of having all three little buggers every day for three months. Ah, time will tell.

Wednesday was his last full day, and Michael and I got a truly rare treat: an uninterrupted night of sleep. Both Gabriel and Benjamin slept peacefully through the night. The clonidine (the blood pressure medication Gabriel is on to aid in his sleeplessness) has improved the nighttime situation, to where we only generally wake up on good nights around three or four times. He still screams loudly when he wakes up, running the length of the house, waking everyone along the way. Ben probably doesn't even know that we are supposed to sleep uninterrupted until morning.

Anyways, Thursday was a half day--Gabe got home a little after noon, when the rest of us were sitting down to eat lunch. That afternoon was...a challenge. The change in routine or stress or just overall having a rough day caused Gabriel's behavior to deteriorate. 

He cackled and laughed and fought me throughout the two hour nap; after nap time was over, he screamed and banged his head against the wall for nearly three-quarters of an hour. During outside play, he engaged in inappropriate behaviors such as eating mud and rocks and chalk and dirt, taking off his clothes, and drinking from the dogs water bowl (when a water bottle was made available to him). When frustrated inside, he would retaliate by pinching or scratching his baby brother, or pulling my or Emerald's hair. Though snack foods were provided he refused to eat, even when you could hear his stomach cramp and growl in hunger. He could settle to nothing, and nothing made him happy.

Predictably, that night was...significantly worse. A half-starved, thirsty, miserable little boy refused to be comforted. It was with great exhaustion that Michael and I embarked on Friday, the last half day Gabriel would have before the end of the school year.

Friday went significantly more smoothly, with the first half of the day dedicated to catching up on housework after the extended illness of one Benjafriend. The bus brought Gaby home a little after noon again, and he settles into eating on the lunch I prepared him more docilely than the previous day. 

Glo and Pawpaw came and picked Emerald up after lunch, meaning that I had just the boys for the afternoon. As soon as the door closed behind them, both Gabriel and Benjamin were fast asleep for nap, a welcome turn of events. We all ended up getting a good little bit of sleep there.

Rhonda called me after nap and invited the boys and me over to go swimming in their new swimming pool before Michael got off of work. Maybe it was the weariness from the night before or maybe it was the change of scenery, but Gabe had a much better afternoon. We swam in the chilly water and then watched "The Princess and the Frog" and had a snack. Ben just liked crawling around on the floor and Ken and Rhonda and I talked about books. 

Friday night was an improvement on Thursday, which is not saying a great deal, but it is still enough of a struggle that I am going to talk to the doctor about it at our appointment in June. 

Today, I got Gabriel's end-of-the-year school report. It is similar to a report card, except that instead of assigning grades for subjects, it describes progress along his path to achieving his IEP (individualized education plan). Here are highlights from it: 

*We are trying to get Gabriel involved in playing with a toy or even to pick up a toy in our room. He is not interested in playing with any toys at this time. He would prefer to still walk around the room and pull things off the board or cabinet and walk away.

*We continue to use hand-over-hand support to share, take turns, and follow directions in all activities in the classroom.

*Gabriel is following a routine in the morning and signing in with some visual clues. He is needing physically support with all other routines throughout the day. 

*Gabriel is continuing to go on a diaper-changing schedule at this time, because there is no indication from him that he is needing a change or that he is uncomfortable when wet or dirty.

*Gabriel is more willing to go up to the sink now that we have changed to a toddler toothpaste. He still only wants to have the toothbrush in his mouth for less than 5 seconds, but we are very happy that he is not upset to go to the sink and start the routine. 

*We are using adaptive scissors with Gab with an adult giving hand-over-hand support. He is continuing to look at the activity at hand. 

*Gabriel is not able to trace various shapes, but he is showing more interest in markers/crayons. He will scribble in the morning for signing in and he enjoys sitting at the center time to scribble on a marker board.

*Gabriel continues to do well with a variety of textures that we provide in the classroom. Mouthing various objects continues to be a work in progress. He enjoys eating crayons and glue sticks so those are very closely monitored. 

*The independent activities that we have set with Gab to do is primarily getting him to calm down from running in the classroom and letting him scribble. He is not interacting in matching activities or academic activities without hand-over-hand support. 

*Hand-over-hand support is continued to achieve matching the colors listed. 

*Gabriel is not able to verbalize numbers at this time. We will count with him and give him the words that are needed and we also give him hand-over-hand support to touch various manipulatives.

*Continuing to use hand-over-hand support is needed to match various shapes.

*In circle activities, Gabriel will stay in his spot with an adult sitting right next to him. When the adult moves for a moment, Gabriel will get up. When in circle though, he has been watching the teacher more and doing the movements to a couple parts of songs. At the table, a therapy belt is used to help him stay seated in the chair and he requires hand-over-hand to complete activities. He will do scribbling with crayons independently. 

*Gabriel will sign more when food is involved. He will also grab our hands to get us to see something that he wants occasionally. He also will inappropriately communicate his needs by screaming, pulling hair, and throwing objects. 

Some exciting news there--they are seeing improvement, and he is adapting. The apprehensive side of me wants to ask how his progress compares with other children, if he is a problem or a disruptive influence in the classroom. I want to know if they like him even though he pulls their hair or refuses to acknowledge his classmates. The defiant voice in me wants to argue that we are lucky, as there are a lot of things that little Gaby doesn't have to deal with or go through that so many of his friends will. As he grows older, however, the errant behavior is becoming more and more definable by his lack of developmental progress. I can't help but be a little discouraged, and I have to repeat to myself again and again--judge Gaby by Gaby, because he is nobody else. 

To end on a high note: in a highly playful mood, Gabriel called out "mama!" and hid under his blanket. It has been about a year since the last time he called me by name, and it was wonderful to hear. We played back and forth for a while, him calling to me and hiding and me "looking" for him and tickling him. Those little "normal" moments, times when I really feel we are bonding and he is engaged with me...those just make my whole month.

--Andie

Bad Case of the Sickies

If feels like life gets away from you sometimes and like you don't even have a moment to sit down and breathe, little less update a family blog. I have to keep reminding myself how important it is to keep these memories, for myself and for Michael and for the kids, as well as for all of those who don't get to see us often and want to know what is going on in our lives.

When a kid starts school for the first time, every parent knows their little immune systems are going to be bombarded with every yucky illness all his little friends track in. For Mr Gabriel, who attended the parent's day out program for about two years, this was not a major concern. Ah, but we did not consider what we would bring home to share with his baby brother!!

It all started with a rash.

One morning when Gabe woke up, I noticed little "chicken-flesh" all over his torso. I had Michael look at it and we agreed it was most likely due to the change in laundry soap, it didn't seem to be bothering him, so we went ahead and sent him to school. When he came home, he brought a note from the school nurse that said that the rash was likely Fifth Disease.

Fifth disease is caused by the parvovirus B19, and it is the biggest non-issue illness a child can have. Usually you don't even know the child has it until you see the "slapped cheek" rash, at which point it is officially not contagious any more. Almost all children get it at some point or another, Emerald had it when she was a tiny baby, so we didn't even need to pull Gabriel out of school until the rash cleared (it would take a week or two).

Predictably, the next logical step was the pinkening of little Benjamin's cheeks. Besides the rash and some slight tummy trouble, Ben was feeling and acting more or less all right and a call to the nurse confirms that it'll pass and we don't have to bring him in to see the doctor. Cool.

The rash has yet to clear up completely--it is still bright as day whenever you take him out into the heat or sunlight or wind, which pretty much describes Lubbock in May, but it could linger up to six months in that capacity. But days after the fifth disease appears, Benji spikes a little fever and his tummy troubles become much worse. It is just a stomach bug, nothing to get to worked up about, so lots of rest and fluids and tylenol later and he is perking up a bit. Oh, good.

We enjoy one day of good health before we are woken with the worst chest-rattling, barky cough from--you guessed it--baby Benjamin. It sounds so painful and miserable, and every breath afterwards sounds difficult. Another call to the nurse who recommends we bring Ben in to see the doctor because he is such a little fella that respiratory problems can become serious too quickly.

Michael ends up having to take a half day off so that he can be home to wait for the plumber (our bathtub was leaking) and get Gabe from the bus, so I take Ben and Emerald to the park for a picnic lunch and to feed the ducks before we take Benny to his appointment.

The doctors says it is croup, also known by the more unwieldy laryngotracheobronchitis, and administers a shot of steroids to help open up the passageways and ease his breathing. Croup is inflammation and swelling around the vocal chords, which is what causes the telltale barky cough. It used to be very serious and potentially deadly, but is common and controllable now. The nurse tells us to use a humidifier and to hold him in a warm, steam-filled bathroom with the shower running to break up the congestion when it gets really bad. The cough should improve to the more productive cough in a few days, and should be completely gone by the end of the week.

Poor Ben is actually acting sick, feeling miserable and wanting much more cuddles and affection. Unfortunately, I start feeling cold-ish, sinusy and generally horribly miserable. I don't want to risk getting Benji sick, but we don't have much choice as Michael cannot take off for as long as it would take me to get feeling better (as it would turn out, about two weeks).

Benjamin's croup cough gives way to the more productive cough, but it drags on...and on...and on. It just won't go away. His tummy troubles never resolved themselves either and he has now developed an acid-burn diaper rash on his little booty. It is so, so awful because every time we have to change him, he shakes from head to toe and turns scarlet as he screeches. It hurts him, and it is so miserable. The cough has persisted two weeks since the doctor's appointment and with the rash, I decide it is time to call and make another appointment or to get advice from the nurse on Monday, since it is Friday night.

The next morning, Ben wakes up with his eyes completely crusted closed and freaks out because he can't open his eyes and can't see. I am feeling completely overwhelmed, wondering when this little guy is going to start feeling better--it has been four weeks at this point since he has been healthy!!

I call the on-call nurse because I figure it can't wait until Monday, and she recommends we bring him into the weekend clinic. We set up an appointment for Sunday morning, where Michael will be off to keep the older kids. With how Ben is feeling, I can't imagine taking him to church.

Michael takes Gabriel and Emerald to get donuts and then to play at the park while the doctor sees to Benny--he has a viral infection (cough) and pink eye (the eye crusty) and diaper rash (thanks, doc). He calls in a prescription and tell us to use a humidifier, nasal suction, saline drops, and to wipe off the eye-gunk with a warm washcloth several times a day. The annoying part there being--of course I am all ready doing ALL of those things, but at least we are getting eye drops.

Funny story there: when we got to the pharmacy to pick up the drops, the pharmacist looks puzzled and says "we tried to call you--the doctor faxed over a prescription of eye drops with a diagnosis of diaper rash??". Michael and I had a good laugh over that.

That was this past Sunday, so where are we now (Thursday)? The pink eye is almost completely gone and is thankfully no longer contagious; the cough is finally gone. The diaper rash is worse than ever and is developing sores, so Monday if giving it fresh air and using barrier creams have not improved it at all, we are headed off to the doctor AGAIN!

Pray that nothing else happens--Gabe only has two half days left to make it through until he is out for the summer, let there be no more illnesses!!

--Andie--