Emerald’s Stories: Dragons and Pirates and Giants, Oh My.

This morning, I got a first-hand account of the vivid imagination of my little girl, as I decided to build a lean-to fort for the kids out of the couch in the living room.

Draping many blankets over the skeletal structure, Emerald crawls inside bellowing, “In the pirate ship, Capn’ Gaby! We hunting for treasure! Come on, Capn’ Mommy!” Unfortunately, Mommy is….not an appropriate sized pirate to properly fit aboard Pirate Ship Wearden, so she must consent to staying in the waters below.

Not to be thwarted, Emerald’s eyes grow as big as saucers and she screeches, “Capn’ Gaby! There’s a monster!! Run!!!!!!”

The former Capn’ Mommy turned Kraken (apparently) assaults the ship, using her tentacles to grab shipmates Gurr and Bluebeau and drag them into the briny deep. Emerald scurries to save the crew, but the Kraken latches onto Capn’ Gaby, who has wandered too close to the monster’s reach, laughing hysterically (I think the scurvy has affected his brain). He kicks frantically, knocking out the middle of the ship and leaving two separate intact sides.

Leaping to her feet, Emerald declares the remaining sides neighboring castles. She is Queen Emerald of the kingdom to the right, Gabriel is King Gabriel to the left. Between the two is a drawbridge leading into the territories.

Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Up the drawbridge, Mommy crawls—she can fit in this, maybe become a brave knight or noble court jester.

“AHHHHHH!!!!! The DRAGON!!!”

Crap.

“ROAR!!!!!” goes the dragon. “Ahhhh!!!!” go the monarchy, scrambling to protect their castles. The dragon attacks King Gabriel’s kingdom, tickling him mercilessly and burning his fortress to the ground. Tough-stuff, King Gabriel flees to the neighboring castle of Queen Emerald, though he is partially digested. The dragon burns this palace to the ground as well, leaving the entire land in disrepair.

Leaping from the wreckage, Emerald shouts “oh no! The giant stomped our castles!”

Why can’t for once I be the good guy? –sigh—

Growling as realistically as I can, I plod through the debris as the King and Queen run away, taking refuge in the faraway land of Brown Chair. Conferring with Gabriel, Emerald deduces, “The giant is sad because we didn’t invite hims to tea. (aside: I am a he now?! Come on, Emerald--give me a break!!!!) . We should throw hims a party!”

A short while later, I (the disgruntled giant) am the guest of honor at a party with Queen Emerald, Capn’ Gaby, Rex, Kraken-food Gurr, and a hot dog eating contest challenge. I am politely scarfing down nerf bullets like they are the greatest thing I have ever eaten, when I hear “I built stairs that go to the star! Come on mommy, Gaby-uhl. We going to space!”

Off on another adventure friends—I’ll let you know when we get back ;)