First! My eldest, the apple of my eye, my little Emerald.
My apprehensions over Emerald's ability to handle kindergarten were growing exponentially as the first day of school approached. Ken and Rhonda volunteered to send Emerald to Lubbock Christian, which is incredibly generous--private school was something Michael and I thought we would ever be able to offer, but because of them it is a reality! Either way, school days were bearing down on us and my fears were not diminishing, so we began to consult all manners of experts from teachers/parents from the University to family members to the principal and teachers from the school trying to get a feel for how Emerald would cope. All throughout this process we had been told time and time again that the teachers would be more than capable of handling her regardless of her behavioral issues and that we didn't need to worry....
...but....
If we wanted to, Pre-K was always a good choice--worse comes to worse, we can move her up to kindergarten instead of her getting held back a year or moved down if she didn't thrive there. It would teach her how to follow and obey school rules and how to make and be a good friend, the things we were particularly concerned about. We knew she would be able to handle the schoolwork aspect of it; the daycare fiasco has made me a little gunshy about Emerald's behavior away from my supervision.
Monday was Meet the Teacher night. Michael watched the boys while Rhonda and I took Emerald. There was a new-parent presentation that Em fidgeted through and then we went and saw her classroom, dropped off her school supplies, and met Ms Lindsay. Her teacher is Ms. Robins, but she was out of town for a funeral and Ms. Lindsay would be substituting until then and being an aide in the classroom for the rest of the year.
Wednesday was her first day of school. We couldn't drop her off any earlier than 7.50 that first day, but 7.30 early care with Principal Breaux is available the rest of the time. We dressed her in her tiny little uniform--so adorable in a plaid skort, blue polo, and little maryjanes with a matching headband. She looked so sweet. I gave her the first-day-of-school present I bought her: a pink lunchbox and water bottle. I wish I had gotten a thermos but I reasoned that I was unlikely to send hot food, soups, or drinks that would make a $15 glorified cup worth it.
Emerald has officially been going for a week now. Ms. Robins came back on Monday; she and I met Tuesday when I went to pick Emerald up and we had the discussion I had been fearing: Emerald was screaming and throwing fits, kicking off her shoes, and generally fighting the teachers. She was sent to talk to the principal. I was mortified, but we took her to have a good talk with Ms Boyer, then we talked about it and discussed better emotional outlets for when she is mad or sad or misses me, grounded her from the DS and iPad (I know, I know--kids today) for the afternoon, and finally prayed that God would help her make good choices at school.
Today (Wednesday) we prayed and reminded her of what we talked about, then I gave her my prayer bracelet as a special reminder. She came home with a great report from her teacher and she told me that she put all her bad choices in the little prayer box on the bracelet and let them stay there. I was so proud! I know it is a long road yet, but it is good that she is recognizing what we are saying. She really loves school; we just want to make it as positive experience for her.
Enough about her. On to Gabriel!
I have been doing a lot of thinking and praying recently--about the kids, about how we are raising them, what changes we could make to create a less stressful, more loving atmosphere at home. My bible readings have veered to Psalms because it feels like the place to get answers when you don't know where to go. I kept going round and round the same subject: how can I create an environment of tranquility when Gabriel is the embodiment of Chaos itself. Though his autism does not define who he is, it is a large part of him and a daily struggle for all of us at this time. Meditating on this for the last few weeks, I have arrived at a conclusion.
I am happy with who Gabe is.
Seriously, I wouldn't change it. I don't know what parts of him are tied up in ASD and what isn't, and I wouldn't want to risk losing what makes him my Gabriel to make him easier to raise or more controllable. I feel like my whole life I have been training for this moment. God directs us all along our paths; I assumed my love for neurology and medicine and special needs would lead to a future as a pediatric neurologist. Now, I see that it led me to Lubbock Christian, to meeting Michael and falling in love and having Gaby. I've trained for it all my life and now God wants to see what I have learned.
The song I sing to Gabriel best explains it (even if it kinda dorky): This is the Gabe that the Lord hath made; I will rejoice and be exceedingly glad; I will lift up mine eyes from whence cometh my help; when it's coming from the Lord, Great God Almighty it'll never fail.
Mr Gabriel is going back to the Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities starting Monday. He is still at Preston Smith, the best special needs in the city from what I hear, and we have Meet the Teacher tomorrow to night (though that is misleading--Ms Reynolds is out on maternity leave and we will be meeting with the sub and the teacher aides and seeing the classroom). His Pawpaw buzzed his hair all off and he looks so clean and adorable now without that ratty shag he had going on. When school starts, he will still be seeing outside therapists four days a week--Monday through Thursday, and occasional Fridays--to keep the consistent, firm prompting that is most likely to encourage the changes we are so eager to see.
Finally, after a few months of relatively pleasant nights, Gabriel's tolerance for his nighttime medicine has increased and the effectiveness of the clonidine has thus gone down. We kept going the course with the 2 mL a night hoping for the best, but after four weeks with no positive changes, we contacted Dr. Dalton. He re-ran the blood work we did last year to check his nutritional health (his pica worsened around this time with him consuming plastic tubing, seeking out candles, and gnawing on a ceramic decorative Easter bunny) and recommended we reinstate the melatonin at night. Give it a week; call back if it doesn't work. A week later, we call and they increase his dosage to 3 mL of clonidine a night plus 3 mg of melatonin. Please shoot a prayer that this works; options are limited for a 3 year old and we are burning through options fast.
Lastly but certainly not leastly, my Benjamin!
The very day that Emerald started school, I set him on the floor and Ben tottled from the couch to the brown chair. Feeling on a roll, he then walked to the entertainment center, over to my chair...by then, he had the hang of it and was wally-wobbling all over the living room. He is still quite unstable (do you blame him? He's 25 pounds of pure chunkedy-chunk) and it really wears him out ( :-D), but he goes a little further, a little more stable every day. He walked for nearly a week before he would do it in front of Daddy though, the little stinker!!
He has three baby teeth coming in which is putting him in quite the bad temper, but he is eating more than ever so we can't complain too much. Soon it will just be him and Mommy during the day and I bet he likes that a lot.
It is rapidly coming up on 5 and Michael will have to come home to a house littered with popcorn if I don't get up to straighten now. More later, I am hoping!
--Andie
No comments:
Post a Comment