Catching Up

I haven't written in a long time. Well, relatively a long time--I went from several updates every day to silence, which of course people tell me is only natural after having a new baby. But every day I have wanted to write, I have thought of the blog...I just didn't know what to say.

Being ungrateful is kind of the American way. We are spoiled, unapologetically and shamelessly; that is not news. But the truth of the matter was, everything that I could have talked about seemed frivolous and whiny and ungrateful.

A friend from high school recently lost his five day old, first-born baby girl. We all followed along as he chronicled the painful journey, from discovering there was something amiss with the fetus through the birth and eventually, to the last moments of her precious little life. My heart ached for him. And as self-centered as it sounds, every time I attempted to sit down and write about the comings and goings of the Wearden family, I thought about how he would have thanked God for the chance to go through the struggles that have left me feeling so defeated lately.

I realize that my children are gifts--beautiful, wonderful presents from God to me and Michael, to enrich our lives and to give us purpose. But sometimes, when I am in the trenches and feel like all I have left in me is to keep holding on and hoping things get better, it is hard to cling to that mentality. It is hard for me to celebrate every day that I get with my little darlings because I feel like tearing out my hair, banging my head against the wall, or just break down and cry.

Of course, I recognize that this is just the learning curve. We are all getting used to the big change that occurred in our family. And my current hormonal state and entire lack of sleep has left me less than sane. But I have come to realize that neglecting to keep this history of our little family because of guilt serves no purpose except to lose our own stories of triumphs and failures, no matter how mundane and ordinary they seem.

All of this rambling and carrying on is to say: I'm back. I'm not going to always want to write a glowing post of adoration for my precious and well-behaved little children because honestly sometimes they seem more like little hellion brats. Here, on our Wearden family blog, I will do what I have always done--write what is on my heart and on my mind, and keep the stories of our journey.

So! Get excited people--Andie's back!

~Andie~