The New Place

I am hurting a lot, and probably will be for a little while.

C.S. Lewis was important to me; losing him was hard. He was a superlative of all the best qualities. He lived both too short and so much longer than he could have, my beautiful boy. 

So I am allowing myself space to grieve for a little while, for something that meant a lot to me. But in the meantime, I am going to write. 

First, settling into our new house. 

We closed on the 5th of June, so we started moving in with intention on the 7th. On the 6th, we brought the kids to see it for the first time. They have mixed feelings. On the one hand, they are excited that everyone will have their own room. On the other, they are anxious about the change, particularly of schools but also because we were in the rental house for so long. 

The more we learned about the house though, the more it felt like we had made the right move. 

There is a big tree out front with a swing and a trampoline in the back. There are alarms on the doors and safety locks  that indicate that maybe a kid not so different from Gabe used to live here. 

Unpacking is, as it ever is, slow going. I think the kids got all their favorite things out and are content leaving the rest in the garage in boxes. Jokes on them, because if it is still there by the end of summer, it is going to be donated. 

Now, a couple weeks later, they are starting to adjust. Gabriel was the most anxious at first and required a lot of reassurance and support. He wanted me to hold him a lot, and for the first week, he slept on a trundle at the foot of our bed. But he is nearly exclusively using the toilet here, with frequent reminders, because the master bathroom has a more enclosed accommodation that makes him feel safer. After 14 years, I am hesitant to say it for fear of jinxing it, but it feels like there may just possibly be an end in sight to the diapering situation.  

Back to the move. It was a grueling several days. Michael’s father came down to help, and I had some friends and family that contributed as well. My sister really threw herself into it, helping me clean up the house and pack. My brother was in the process of relocating at the exact same time himself. But one way or another, we got it all handled. 

We have a few areas set up the way I want them to be. 

The living room feels big, probably because we don’t have a couch. Michael and I will buy one, but we are kind of on a spending freeze after a rather large purchase earlier this month. (Technically two, because a week before closing on the house Michael’s truck started acted a fool and demanded four new tires.) The living room has a wood burning fireplace. In the evenings, we watch Doctor Who with the kids and Michael and I play Call of Duty: Warzone while every cat in the known universe sits on me. They too are feeling insecure, and I am a warm spot. 

The kids rooms and Michael’s office are still a work-in-progress, but they are all happy to have their own “zones”, as am I. My room is a good size, with a separate shower and a garden bath in the master, as well as a big master closet. The only thing the room is missing honestly is a gigantic built in bookcase for all my books. 

The carpet is soft and clean and I like having a quiet place to go. I think I need a bigger picture for over the bed, but this one works for now. 

Also in my bedroom is my office. Before, I used one of the two closets in our rent house as my office. It was there that I was able to complete my schoolwork online and finish my bachelors degree. I wanted a set up here as well, but I moved out of the closet and into the room proper. 

Is it the best use of space? I do not know, because every morning I get up to do my masters work on my computer and the light shines directly onto Michael’s face. This does not seem to bother him overmuch, or he is too polite to complain, so we continue. I have my favorite picture hanging over it. 

The dining room is probably my favorite so far. 

So, we mostly ate in front of the tv because we never had a table big enough for all of us to eat around, and never had enough chairs. We sat where we had seating. It wasn’t my favorite.

When we were moving, Mom sent me another link (what can I say? She is right some of the time) for a picnic style table that was reasonably priced.

I reached out to the guy, who was an older carpenter here in town that was eager to talk to me about his work. He told me he was taught by his uncles when he was little how to build things, and he took a lot of pride in his work. We talked about what I was needing, and he invited me and Michael to come visit with him before we ordered anything so we could see some of his work. We ended up meeting with him on Mother’s Day.

This guy was a whole trip. He reminded me a lot of my dad, with his outrageous stories and his big ideas. But his work, like my dad’s, was excellent. So I ordered a custom, forest green picnic-style dining table from him. 

It came in early and we had some friends help drop it off at our house. The thing was enormous. Michael is convinced it is not going to fit in our little dining room. My mom is using her feet to walk across and guesstimate how big the room is across (she was way off). Michael is having me reach back out to the carpenter to see what options we have if the table doesn’t fit, can we shave a bit off the end or something, I am telling him I think it is going to fit.

Michael sure does hate admitting I was right. 

It is beautiful in the space, and I can’t wait to see it with all my Christmas decorations up. I think Rhonda and I need to go out on a special trip to plan my holiday centerpiece. 

I also decided that saving fancy china for fancy occasions that never occur in my house is a waste. Now every day is fancy, and Aunt Ann’s china with the pink and teal from Grandma Ruth and Gigi Roberts that match just fine make every meal a little more special. 

So that is our new house. I have been trying to decide if sending out new address cards is appropriate or if I should make a digital card or just not worry about it at all. I don’t know that I learned the protocol here. 

I can’t tell if I have talked excessively already and need to wrap it up, or if it just looks long because of the number of pictures I added. Either way, I am starting to droop, so I will leave it at this. Another day I will have to tell you about the overly exciting Father’s Day weekend with roadside assistance, a dogtor visit, and a broken butt. 

For tonight, though: Goodnight. 

--Andie