Gabriel Today

Gabriel Today!

Gabriel is the sweetest, most loving little boy. Despite being autistic, which is often characterized by aversion to physical contact like hugs, Gaby can't get enough love--he covers Mama in kisses, wrestles with Daddy and Pawpaw, and demands that Grandpop hold him constantly. In public, he will hug random women and request that men hold him. He is getting to the age of distancing himself from Mom a bit; he wants me when he needs to be comforted or when he is tired, but during most of the day he would rather spend it with other guys. With seemingly boundless energy and a predisposition for mischief, Gabe can definitely be a handful, and you have to watch him in case he decides to abscond the moment your attention is diverted. Most of his day seems to consist of figuring out ways to subvert my authority, whether that is stuffing the cat in the oven, sneaking food off of my plate, or stealing the TV remote, and his excess of cleverness just aids him in his efforts. The hardest part is that he is still completely non-communicative; unable to speak, sign, or engage in picture exchange, he is limited in his ability to express wants and needs to us. He does not let this hold him back though, and he will figure out a way to get the things that he wants (even if that means ripping the handle right off the fridge). 

Gabriel is 4 years old, and his nicknames are Gabe, Gaby, Gaby-Baby, GooBoo, Goobles, Gablegobbles, and Cookie. 

Gabriel's Favorites

Games: 

Gabe is not great at following rules or attending long enough to play a game, but he does like song "games". For example, he can't get enough "Wheels on the Bus" or "If You're Happy and You Know It". He still requests hand-over-hand to do the signs, but he manipulates your hands, proving that he does indeed know the motions and is paying attention (whether he is looking or not). Besides that, he loves tickle games, wrestling, and fishing games where you match the colors of the fish to the boat. The more active the game, the more likely he is to participate in it, but an excess of stimulation can cause a meltdown pretty quickly--it is kind of a balancing act of "just right" amounts of people, noises, smells, sensations, and time that he can tolerate. 

Activities: Gabriel is out of Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities (PPCD) for the summer. Now, he is mostly engaged in private Speech Therapy where he reads, sings songs, plays games, and generally is prompted to learn and share signs. He is a regular little water duck, swimming and playing in the water hose and taking leisurely and long bubble baths. There is a sensory deprivation element to all of it, where he can float with his ears under the water to muffle all the sounds, close his eyes, and just let the lukewarm water wash over him. It calms him, and as any parent can attest, swimming is one of the best ways to tire out a child. He has a trampoline out back that he jumps on, or just lays on to soak up the sun. Like most toddlers, he won't say no to a ball, bubbles, or balloons. 

TV Show: 

I know, you are so surprised to hear it, but...

VEGGIE TALES.

 

Still totally his thing. Ugh. Luckily I am more or less able to completely tune it out at this point; I wish there was more available on Netflix Instant Queue because he will see a disc, get excited, and accidentally scratch or break it trying to show it to me. He has shifted his interest mildly in that he now prefers Larryboy or Minnesota Cuke episodes over others; they tend to be more action-packed and boy-centric. 

Other than that old standard: 

SuperWhy! is a show on PBS, and no on NIQ, that he finds entertaining--he has always been a fan of watching credits roll, and I think that seeing the words spelled on the show help hold his interest better. If Grandpop is around, Gabriel will happily watch anything, but if it is just Mom and Dad, he becomes picky, bringing us the remote incessantly until we finally accidentally stumble on whatever he feels like watching. 

Food: Super recent development is that Gaby is all about the pasta. Before, whenever we had (for example) spaghetti, I would spoon the sauce onto a piece of toast and sprinkle it with cheese so it resembles pizza enough for him to eat. The last time I tried that, he started stealing food off of Emerald's plate; the same thing happened when I made my barbecue chicken mac and cheese, so I decided to start offering him what we have. 

Now he happily eats pasta with the rest of the family. I at least offer what I made for dinner, but give him something different if he won't eat. Especially at other people's houses, he will only eat things like peanut butter crackers or nuts or peanut butter pretzels. The "dry" foods that he used to be so focused on. Of course, he will still get down in a cupcake or other sweets, it's just the main meal he is disagreeable about.

Back at home, he will eat WHOLE fruits and vegetables. Hand him apple slices and he ignores them; give him a full apple and he will eat it down to the core. Bell peppers, all varieties of fruit--anything that he can hold comfortably in his hand, I think is his motivation. Even better if it keeps his hand dry while he is eating it. Exceptions include oranges which have to be peeled, and any fruit cup, particularly mandarin oranges. 

Movie: 

 

His two favorites right now are The Princess and the Frog and Alice in Wonderland. No telling why he latched on to those two. Last year, he would watch "Toy Story" again and again, but this year he shows minimal interest before moving on. Other movies that he likes are Hercules and Madagascar 2: Escape to Africa. We are rather limited in what he will and will not watch, which means a pretty standard rotation of about 10 shows and movies.  

Song: As aforementioned, If You're Happy and You Know It and Wheels on the Bus go over really well with Gabe. Other than that, he likes jazz music (probably why he likes "Princess and the Frog"), things heavy with trumpet or piano, mostly. He has a strong dislike for country music and "popular" music; like his Daddy, he prefers things that are a little more antique--Elton John, Journey, etc. One of the few time I caught him trying to sing was to the "Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack from the Gerard Butler from a few years back. Michael thought that was just the neatest thing. Children's church songs are pretty standard for him; I think he prefers his music as unobtrusive as possible. 

Books: 

In Speech, they read the Little Critter books by Mercer Mayer; he really likes them and responds to them. Maybe it is because Ms Emily is the one reading them to him, but he requests and more or less listens when she reads to him. 

It is difficult to realize that he does enjoy being read to because he doesn't respond like most children do. Emerald will bring you a book, sit next to you and "help" you read, answer questions and point out things in the pictures, and generally devote her whole attention toward the story. Gabriel on the other hand will not sit beside you. Sometimes, he won't even sit in the same room with you--he will lay down in the hall, or play in the adjoining room. You can't tell that he is paying attention at all. But if you watch, he gets uncharacteristically quiet whenever someone reads aloud. His motions become less pronounced and more sedate; he walks around aimlessly rather than jumping up in down in place or smacking himself. And most distinctly, he doesn't request shows, or to go inside if we are outside; he just seems all around more peaceful. 

The reason I started looking for these signs is because I was reading aloud to the children anyway but didn't know if they were getting anything out of it or if I was wasting my breath...but then one day I was sitting quietly and Gabriel brought me the book I had been reading to them ("One Hundred Years of Solitude" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez). He didn't look me in the eye, he just carried it over and dropped it in my lap, then started his soundless haunt of the area near where I was sitting. 

That kind of crude communication is not that uncommon with Gaby, but you have to make sure that you keep your eyes open because being dismissive that it might be random or he is just being a pest can make you miss so much of who he is.

Colors: I color code the children. I know, totally weird. But it helps me keep everything organized if they all have blatantly distinct possessions; I always know what belongs to who because of the color. Emerald was easy--she is my only girl, and she loves pink above all other colors. So she is pink. 

Gabriel and Benjamin, I went with initials. Gabriel is green; Benjamin is blue. 

Which basically means that at dinner time, Gabe will always have a green cup, fork, and plate and Benjamin's dishes will all be blue. It is how I keep it straight in my head. 

Gabe responds well to the green. The other color he seems drawn to is that bright neon orange.

Gabriel is an amazing kid. It must be so hard for him to go through life feeling like the world is overwhelming and confusing and even painful, and worse yet to be completely unable to control any of it or tell anyone how he is feeling. Sometimes this manifests negatively, where he will have accidents or do harm to himself or others; but for the most part, he is a sunny, serious little boy who is making the best of a difficult situation. He cleverly figures out ways to get what he wants, or independently discovers new methods of helping himself to things he needs. Developmentally, he is not where we want him to  be, but he works so hard trying to catch up and puzzle all of these difficult tasks out. Who knows who he will become or what he will accomplish, but Michael and I know that we are proud of him and know he is capable of so much, growing every day into someone incredible. 

--Andie