Quotes from Emerald, March 7th

It's been a while, but here is another installment of Emerald-isms!!

*Me: How are you, Emerald?

Emerald: -heavily- Oh, I'm a sausage (I'm exhausted--she must have misheard it!)

*Emerald (very knowledgeably): Pandas eats Shampoo!

*You is the best mommy ever! (she also said the Bratz baby movie was the "best movie ever" so she can't be that reliable, lol)

*Daddy drinks fire, that's why he gots heartburn. I can't drink fire cuz it would burn me, but if I do, it probably taste good.

*The girl with the purple hair cutted my hair and now it's short! I'm so pretty!

*Emerald's version of words:

Skinny Pig (Guinea Pig)

Po-mer Bear (Polar Bear)

Sammich (Sandwich)

*Me : What does Daddy do at work?

Emerald: Oh, he talks to Patrick and plays on his iPad. He gets in and out of his cars. He does anything he wants to.

*Emerald: One day, there was this guy and he was sinking. Jesus he walked on the water, and the guy said "well, well, well--what are you doing here?" and Jesus said "I was telling the winds and the waves to shhh and be quiet because I was taking a nap, so you'd better stop drowning." The guy said "okay" and Jesus took him into the boat, and the winds went "whoo" and the waves rocked them and they was so happy. The end.

*Emerald: Mommy, can I vacuum?

Me: When you're older, sure.

Emerald: Okay. -long pause- Okay, mommy--I'm older. Can I vacuum NOW?

*I caught a daddy longlegs and showed Emerald, then tossed it outside. Emerald looked really uncertain and said, "I think Daddy want you to kill the spider, not throw him outside..."

*Emerald: -singing- And I so happy, so very happy. I got a lumpy Jesus in my heart...

*We were watching "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory"; when Emerald saw Charlie, she said "Poor little girl--why is she so sad?"

*Emerald: Skyrim? That's Daddy's game. I don't think he wants you playing it.

*Emerald: Maybe you should take out the trash like Daddy told you to.

(Taking out the trash is Michael's chore, lol)

*"I am a cook now, which means I get to call you Andie. Cooks get to call you Andie."

*We ordered pizza one day for lunch; Emerald says, "Daddy sent me pizza while he was at work! How did he know I wanted pizza?"

*Me: Mommy's not feeling very well today.

Emerald: Oh, yay! Maybe there is a baby in your tummy!!

--Andie--