Halloween

It was Banjo's first Halloween!!

Okay, so obviously we didn't take him trick-or-treating. Come on--he's just a little feller. But he did get a sweet little Halloween onesie.

First, Gabriel: My in-laws are incredibly sweet people, and they love my babies very much. As most will attest, there is little that interests Gabriel besides Veggie Tales. Nothing ever gets him as excited as that show. Rhonda and Ken got him a Larry the Cucumber costume to wear this year. You should have seen how excited he got when he saw it--he didn't even mind wearing the hat that much, and he was so darned cute waddling around the house as a big green cucumber.

Emerald had been telling me she wanted to be Captain America since her birthday, but the week before when it was starting to bear down on her, she started considering more options. We took her to Toys-R-Us and let her pick through the costumes until she found one she liked. The ones that were most interesting to her were Cinderella and Aurora (Sleeping Beauty). That is, they were until she saw the Tinkerbell costume. She loved that one! I actually kind of liked it too because it meant that she and Gabriel were both wearing green, so there was still some continuity to their costumes. This year was exciting for me because for the first time, Emerald was old enough to really pick her own.

Another flashback:

Emerald's first Halloween (6 weeks old), Oma got her a red chili pepper costume. Second Halloween, she was 13 months old and was a Pumpkin (Oma), then a Lion (Gigi), and finally a pink fluffy poodle (Glo and Pawpaw).

Third Halloween, she was 25 months and wore a Ladybug costume (Glo). Gabriel was 8 months old and was a Zebra (Oma), plus he wore the Lion that Emerald had the year before. Fourth Halloween, Emerald was 3 and Gabriel was 20 months: Emerald picked out a Rosetta costume (the pink flower fairy from Tinkerbell) as well as a Batgirl costume, so I went ahead and got both, lol. Gabriel got a Batman costume because Emerald got the Batgirl costume and I couldn't resist, so they matched. It was really cute.

Now I have caught you (and me!) all up on Halloweens past!!

Back to this Halloween though: Emerald was Tinkerbell, Gabriel was Larry the Cucumber, and Benjamin was staying home with Glo because he is just a little dumpling right now.

Pawpaw, Michael, and I took Emerald and Gabriel trick-or-treating at the dorms like we do every year. I like it because it is safe. That being said, it stressed me out pretty bad.

We had a lot of fun, and the kids really enjoyed it, but it is warm and there are a ton of people so I feel claustrophobic, and I get turned around easily which means that I don't know which way is out and that is not a feeling I enjoy. To be honest, I do have concerns that this whole event is a terrible fire hazard, with so many people and decorations all over the walls that can so easily catch flame from the strobe lights and everything...okay, so I am getting myself worked up again, but those were the paranoid thoughts that were running through my head as we went from room to room.

The thing is, those kinds of situations stress Michael out as well, so it is no surprise that the kids were a little frazzled afterwards either. Like I said, we all had a great time, but (and this should come as a shock to no one), Mommy is totally high strung. We all ready know that Emerald and Gabriel can't handle large groups of people or loud noises without having no small amount of anxiety, plus the whole seizure thing was never quite resolved so when we got into the hallway with the flashing strobe light...

I am rambling. My point in all of this is: while we had a really good time, I think maybe next year, I will let someone else (maybe Glo and Pawpaw or Daddy) take the kids trick or treating, and maybe I will try and throw a small party for the kids and their friends. Obviously this is just the preliminary, knee-jerk reaction to a stressful situation, and I am a problem solver, so I start plotting way in advance. How much fun would it be to have bobbing for apples or decorate your own candy apples or a Halloween relay race out in the backyard? Plus, Emerald would love to have Cooper over to play.

Hope everyone had a Happy Halloween!!

--Andie!--

A Little September

Mostly I just didn't have anywhere else to put these pictures and none of the stories were long enough for stand-alone posts, so this is kind of a hodge podge =)

Sunday is family day--it's the day that Michael has off, so we get to do things that we don't normally do during the week. Our favorite part is the Sunday drive. I know that sounds completely lame, but it is really relaxing and the kids and I like to get out of the house. Usually we first go to Scoggin Dickey and look at all the cars; Mike tells us about what he is selling and shows us new cars. After that, we just sort of wander, just driving in any direction that appeals to us and trying to see things we haven't seen before.

The kids also really like it when we go somewhere fun, like the park or the mall or wherever. We may start taking them to the Texas Tech museum or the Ranch Heritage center or the Corn Maize, when they are a little less rambunctious and rowdy, a little more controllable.

The kids have been going to "school" (parent's day out) twice a week and they both just love it. That picture down there of Gabriel grinning--I don't get to see him get excited about much, but he really enjoys going to class. I would send them more, but I just want them to have a bit of socialization and peer interaction, but also time to spend at home meeting with ECI and having fun with the family.

Back to school: Gabriel's teachers always tell me what a wonderful, sweet, well-behaved child he is. Sometimes he has trouble going to sleep for naptime, but that is not surprising to me considering he is having the same issues at home for bedtime. (At nap at home, we usually nap as a group, so he crashes hard and fast for that, lol).

Emerald is actually my problem child this year. Her teachers have mentioned that she is disrespectful and runs away from them, won't settle down to rest at nap. She even has a partner in crime--her self-described "best and only friend", Cooper. Her and Cooper have been in the same class since they were 9 months old, so it doesn't surprise me that they are close. Anyways, back to the misbehavior: I know every parent wants to think that their child has behavioral issues at school because they are too smart and are just not being stimulated enough; but in Emerald's case, I am wondering if that is actually the case. I have seen what they are working on, and while it is great and I am not saying that it won't benefit her, the fact of the matter is that she all ready knows a great deal of it. She just picks things up pretty quickly, so repetition annoys and frustrates her, and sometimes she has issues settling down because of it.

Finally, Benjamin's first bath =)

Of course, you knew that after all this time, he probably has had at the very least one bath or he would be quite the yucky little baby, but I like newborn pictures!

Ben has a little bit of wild, unruly hair that gets gross very quickly, so he has to be bathed rather frequently. I tried bathing him in the sink, but he honestly hated that. In the baby bath, he propels his arms and legs like he is falling and he sobs. Sponge baths were okay, but only go so far--he can't get fully, really clean that way. Finally I had the idea to fill up the bath bucket with bubbly water...he loved that!! It is perfectly his size, easy to clean and sanitize, and comfortable enough that he is happy in it. I still want to go buy an inflatable infant bath (even though I pop those more often than not, and I bet the older kids would want to play with it), but for right now, Benji is one happy, clean little baby boy!

Okay, so that is all I have for right now. Well, all I have right now about those topics. Particularly stimulating? Nah. But it is the every day things that make up our lives, and I am just certain that one day I am going to want to look back and remember our Sunday drives, or that Emerald is a real toot at daycare, or that Benjamin hated bath time =)

--Andie!--

A Very Belated Birthday Post

Emerald's birthday was almost two months ago, which means that it is probably past time that I write about the party we threw for her!

This was her fourth birthday--I can't believe that she is growing up so fast. I love having parties for the kids just because it is so much fun to see how happy they are having a day that is all about them, and because I like to celebrate making it another year. Some days it just doesn't feel like we'll make it!!

Flashback: Emerald's first birthday was pretty much theme-less. I was broke and couldn't do much, but besides that all of Lubbock was flooded that day, so getting to the store for last minute shopping was all but impossible. She and I made a confetti cake together, and we had Disney Princess plates and napkins and stuff. My family wasn't able to make it because of the weather, but Ken and Rhonda and the Weems were there, and all in all, it was a great birthday. I remember that my mom made Emerald a chocolate brown dress with pink polka dots and a big cupcake on the chest to wear. I still have that dress stored =)

Her second birthday party was the one that the whole family got to come to (I think. It was either that one or the next). I made it Hello Kitty because Princess Hello Kitty was her favorite movie at the time, and I didn't know enough to vary up the colors so the dining room at Rhonda's house was an explosion of pink. It was intense.

The third birthday I did Dora the Explorer which turned out pretty well, as I think. It was mostly purple and orange.

After all those super girly birthday parties, I think she was ready for something different!!

As I said before, Emerald was insistent that she wanted a Captain America birthday party. I think Michael was proud enough to burst--he is a big comic fan, especially of Steve Rogers =) Honestly, I had it in my head that we were going to have a Tinkerbell Tea Party, and even tried to sway her toward it; but she had her little heart set on the First Avenger, and I didn't want to disappoint her.

It actually turned out much simpler than I had thought--there are tons of patriotic decorations that fit into the theme really easily. Anything we couldn't find with stars or stripes, we just had to pick red, white, or blue! Also because of the recent Captain America movie, bakeries were stocking Cap cakes as well.

I had wanted to get everything for the party before the baby was born so that I wouldn't have to do it after he got here, but there was just so, so much to do before hand that I couldn't manage. For inspiration, I kept Emerald talking about her party as much as possible. She actually had some great ideas.

Thus far with the kids, I have only done cupcakes and drinks or occasionally finger food at their birthday parties. Just cuts down on stress. We had been planning on that until Emerald asked for hot dogs. Hot dogs? ....sure, we can do hot dogs. I mean, how easy is that? Granted, I hate hot dogs...but it's not my birthday party!

For a little variety, my mom made a big pot of chili for the hot dogs, and we also provided Samuel Adam's soaked bratwurst, as well as chips. I like brats, so that was good for me. We had a cupcake cake--half vanilla, half chocolate as usual--with a figurine that spun on a base. Emerald thought that was pretty neat. The only downside of the cake was that there were 30 cupcakes, so we had tons left over.

Like we do every year, we had it at Rhonda's house. My parents were able to be there, but little Andrew was sick so Jarrod and Julia couldn't come. Ken had come back into town from work, so he was able to come as well. Besides that, Grannymom and DadDad and Rhonda were also there, and of course Michael, Gabriel, Benjamin, and myself were able to make it.

Besides family, we also had David and Beth, which meant a lot to me because Beth was feeling particularly crummy that day and had to go to the doctor the next day, but she still came anyway =) Sara was there as well--I love Miss Sara!

Forgive my fuzzy memory; I am still in a sleepy baby-haze, so I don't exactly remember everything she got and I don't think I will try. At any rate, she loved her many presents, and was thrilled overall with her Captain America birthday party!!

--Andie!--

Complaints and Grievances

As I said in the last post, our little family has been going through some difficult patches lately. So this post is to help me get all the grumpies out.

As good of a starting point as anywhere, I will lead with my darling eldest, Emerald.

Sometimes, when a new baby is introduced into the family, an older child will regress because of the stress and in an attempt to attract more attention.

Other times when a child goes through a personally traumatic experience, they will lose progress or skills as a coping mechanism.

At the end of August and beginning of September unfortunately, Emerald was subjected to both. Benjamin was born in the first week of September, right after Emerald was painfully, miserably constipated.

Oh, yes: this story is about dookie. If I have to deal with it, so do you. :p

Early in August we had finally turned a corner. Emerald's potty training had been an odyssey, with lots of frustration on both our parts, but we had finally gotten there. We could take her into public without a pull-up on, she was hardly (if ever) having accidents, and she was staying dry overnight. I was elated.

Then it seemed like she lost all her progress overnight. This wasn't the occasional lapse--this was completely resetting the game and starting at square one. I have never felt so deflated in my life. I felt like a failure. And it has been so discouraging to have to start over all over again, for both of us.

Now, it is two months later and this is still a daily challenge. Some days we have good days--no or few accidents, no power struggle just to get her into the bathroom...some days are not so good, where we have to change her six or more times and there is a screaming tantrum anytime we mention the potty; lots of short tempers and frustration all around. The doctor prescribed something for her, but it has not helped because it doesn't address any of the emotional distress that is causing such problems...this in and of itself has been very hard on the whole family.

Of course the potty issues are not the only ones plaguing Emerald right now--her stress level is high and so her behavior at home and at school as severely deteriorated. Her teachers no longer tell me what a joy she is to have in class, but that she was disrespectful, disruptive, rude. At home she argues, talks back, whines, screeches in our faces. She lies, makes up stories about how mean everyone is to her or what she has been doing.

I understand that this is not that uncommon in a four-year old girl and that she is just exerting her independence and that she will grow out of it...but I would be kidding myself if I pretended that any of that was a comfort. She's my little girl--my only girl--and it hurts me that we are at odds so often.

Gabriel is next, I suppose. Nothing new is really going on there, just the same struggles with communication and general development and sensory troubles. He is having trouble sleeping again. We had finally gotten the little guy putting himself to sleep and sleeping through the night in his own bed. Now he has moved into a bit of insomnia, waking up and unable to put himself back to sleep for hours afterwards. He attempts to use his babbles and grunts to express something to us, but it just causes him to dissolve into tears when he realizes that we do not understand him.

He is also attempting to become more self-reliant as he has lost patience with trying to get what he wants out of us. For example, before he would go and get a sippy cup to bring to me when he was thirsty. He would sign more or please and insist until I got him something. Now, he gets into the fridge and grabs the gallon of milk or a carton of eggs. We tried putting a lock on the fridge, so he broke the handle so the lock wouldn't work. We put up barriers on either side of the kitchen so he would be barred out; he scaled the barriers and persisted in his thievery.

You get the idea.

So, Emerald has become a full-time job in and of herself and Gabriel has progressed to needing unwavering and constant monitoring. Because heavens forbid I try and nurse Benjamin or help Emerald to the restroom or cook a meal--that little boy that is sitting quietly looking at his book when I get up will be in the dining room smashing my figurines or standing on the kitchen counter before my back is turned.

ONCE AGAIN, of course I know that my mother at least is laughing because this is how boys behave! Why should I be surprised that Gabriel is acting like a BOY?!

Well because it is exhausting and time-consuming and something that under normal circumstances I would be able to handle, no problem, but please now recall that I am putting Emerald in time-out or on the potty every 30 minutes, searching her room for hidden accidents, and doing load after load (bad phrasing, I know) of laundry trying to keep up with how fast she is messing them.

And Benjamin? What's that sweet little lumpling's problem?

He's a NEWBORN!!

He is, by the very definition, exhausting. And time-consuming. Each baby is different, but this one is painfully gassy and incredibly clear and alert, meaning that he is up all hours of the day and night. Not to mention that he is just a vocal child, meaning that any discomfort he is not shy from voicing. It is not uncommon for me to have to carry him around for hours, walking and bouncing him and trying to clean and take care of the kids and cook one handed.

Now, everyone will point out that I should have waited; had my kids further apart so that I could handle each trial as it arises. Or maybe had less children all together. But this way, I am getting all of this sleepless nights and diapers/potty-training and everything all out of the way at once. Is it the life for everyone? No, and I can respect that. But this is the way I prefer to have done it. So for today, I am going to complain and bitch and moan and keep trudging through with the rosy future of poop no longer being a daily conversation and sleeping through the night is commonplace just on the horizon =)

-Andie!-

Catching Up

I haven't written in a long time. Well, relatively a long time--I went from several updates every day to silence, which of course people tell me is only natural after having a new baby. But every day I have wanted to write, I have thought of the blog...I just didn't know what to say.

Being ungrateful is kind of the American way. We are spoiled, unapologetically and shamelessly; that is not news. But the truth of the matter was, everything that I could have talked about seemed frivolous and whiny and ungrateful.

A friend from high school recently lost his five day old, first-born baby girl. We all followed along as he chronicled the painful journey, from discovering there was something amiss with the fetus through the birth and eventually, to the last moments of her precious little life. My heart ached for him. And as self-centered as it sounds, every time I attempted to sit down and write about the comings and goings of the Wearden family, I thought about how he would have thanked God for the chance to go through the struggles that have left me feeling so defeated lately.

I realize that my children are gifts--beautiful, wonderful presents from God to me and Michael, to enrich our lives and to give us purpose. But sometimes, when I am in the trenches and feel like all I have left in me is to keep holding on and hoping things get better, it is hard to cling to that mentality. It is hard for me to celebrate every day that I get with my little darlings because I feel like tearing out my hair, banging my head against the wall, or just break down and cry.

Of course, I recognize that this is just the learning curve. We are all getting used to the big change that occurred in our family. And my current hormonal state and entire lack of sleep has left me less than sane. But I have come to realize that neglecting to keep this history of our little family because of guilt serves no purpose except to lose our own stories of triumphs and failures, no matter how mundane and ordinary they seem.

All of this rambling and carrying on is to say: I'm back. I'm not going to always want to write a glowing post of adoration for my precious and well-behaved little children because honestly sometimes they seem more like little hellion brats. Here, on our Wearden family blog, I will do what I have always done--write what is on my heart and on my mind, and keep the stories of our journey.

So! Get excited people--Andie's back!

~Andie~