Busy Wednesday

Today was quite more than any one of us wanted to handle, to be frank, and I am still a bit overwhelmed and tense from the experience, but I will try and relate it as best as possible.

Last night, Michael was entirely too sick to function--the antibiotics and pain killers that he was on were making him downright miserable, and the progress was not as pronounced as we would have liked it to have been. So after discussing it for a long time, we decide the best course of action is to go back to Dr. Smith and see what he can do for us in the morning. Luckily, Ken agrees to watch the kids for a few hours so that I can go with Michael to the appointment.

That night, all four of us got very shoddy sleep. I was uncomfortable from pregnancy and nervous about the next day; Michael was very apprehensive about going back to the doctor and very ill; and the kids had trouble settling because they were picking up on the anxiety in their parents. End result is--when we woke up at 8 this morning, we only had a handful of hours of sleep between the four of us, and we were all pretty cranky and unhappy.

Ken picks up Emerald and Gabriel and I go with Michael to Dr. Smith's, who says that Michael needs to have the infection lanced and packed, which is what we have been dreading. Michael straight up does not want to do it and he is worrying himself sick over how much pain it is going to cause.

Luckily, Dr. Smith takes pity on poor Michael because he (Dr. Smith) cannot prescribe anything for the pain or the procedure, and he refers us to a wound specialist in town that is more than happy to work with us. It is looking much brighter, much more optimistic.

Because Michael may be out of commission to drive home, Rhonda drives us both to Dr. Wolcott, where he gives Michael an anti-anxiety pill and tells him to come back at 1pm.

There's a problem.

Today is Wednesday, and as previously stated in this blog, Gabriel has a Ear, Nose, and Throat appointment to check his tonsils and his adenoids and determine if they need to be removed; as well as to decide if ear tubes would be beneficial. It is also scheduled at 1. Which means that Michael would not be able to attend the appointment with me and Gabriel.

Rhonda and Ken were very helpful--Rhonda opted to take Michael back to the wound-care clinic, and Ken took me and Gabriel to the ENT and hearing appointment. Emerald stayed with her great grandmother, Grannymom (Rhonda's mom) so that we wouldn't have to keep up with her as well.

First, Michael's staph infection appointment:

They gave him lots of antibiotics and pain management treatment (four shots directly to the site, plus numbing gel), but he said it still hurt a very great deal. It was awful for him, and I am very sorry that I was not able to be there.

The infection had affected the muscular tissue of his thigh, which meant that a great deal of muscle tissue had to be removed, which I can only imagine would be incredibly unpleasant while still lucid. It had gotten into the lymph nodes, but it didn't get into his blood stream or organs, which is good.

He has to remain on the antibiotic treatment that he has been on even though it makes him ill, as well as taking vicodin and using a cane. He has to stay off of his feet and stay out of the sun (because the antibiotics cause photo-sensitivity), which means that he will be unable to go to work for another week. We also have to pack the wound with gauze which is uncomfortable but will help keep it clean and help it heal.

All in all, it was a horribly miserable experience, but considerably better than the last time when he had to go to the Emergency Room, and now we know for the future to keep an eye out for it coming back.

Now, Gabriel's ENT appointment:

I know it sounds weird, but we were actually going in there praying (but not expecting) Gabriel to need surgery. It felt like the best option right now for us.

First, he had the hearing test, in which I sit in a booth with Gabriel on my lap. They place a thing in Gabriel's ear that measures the functionality of his eardrums--both of those went just fine and showed that his little eardrums are working well. Then they play sounds of varying volume intensity to the left and to the right, rewarding him for looking in the right direction by flashing some pretty lights. Unfortunately, because of his age and inability to focus or interact, Gabriel was unable to complete this portion of the test to produce satisfactory results--basically, he is going to have to take a different hearing test because the results were inconclusive.

We were sent back to the waiting room, but we were only there for a few moments before the nurse called us back again.

It was really hard reining in Gabriel while the doctor examined him, but luckily Dr. Marchbanks works a lot with pediatrics so he was very quick and efficient.

Dr. Marchbanks is actually a very nice guy--he reminds me of a flamboyantly gay Mad Hatter, and his good cheer is always contagious. He saw Emerald when she was about Gabriel's age because she also had the speech delays, but hers were due to a series of ear infections that interfered with her ability to perceive the full range of sounds.

After looking down Gabriel's throat and in his ears and nose, after the medical history and discussing our concerns, Dr. Marchbanks gave us some good news and some bad news:

The Good News is that physically, Gabriel is perfect. He doesn't need surgery or ear tubes; his throat, ears, adenoids, tonsils, and everything look healthy and to be functioning well. Dr. Marchbanks even thinks Gabriel is hearing just fine, judging by his history and the limited results today yielded on that front. They scheduled him for a ABR--an Auditory Brainstem Response--test, which is like the EEG in that they attach nodes to his head and figure out how his brain is responding to auditory stimulation via bluetooth. This is to further determine his range of hearing, but that is more of a formality since they are fairly confident there is nothing wrong with his hearing.

The Bad News is that all the information we have been gathering through the specialists is pointing more not to a physical malady, but rather a social-developmental disorder. The ENT said that Gabriel is most likely on the spectrum, such as Asperger's syndrome or Autism, which would explain all Gabe's developmental delays.

ENT's are called in to determine an individual's responsivity to sound stimuli since so frequently with autism (even one of the questions on the M-CHAT) are fears of deafness or hearing loss, or ear-plugging/ear-cupping.

I wish I could say I took this news like an adult, but I can't deny that I was a little depressed and worried when I heard that. It was particularly hard to take because I didn't have Michael there with me. Not unexpected, and absolutely nothing definite, it's just....I would be lying if I said it didn't shake me a bit.

Anyways, we are all home now and quite exhausted mentally and physically and emotionally. We are very appreciative of having family there for us on this difficult day. Hopefully tomorrow will be brighter. =)

~Andie~

Daddy Is Sick

It has been a crummy week for the Wearden clan, lol.

Michael has been feeling very poorly, to the point that Saturday he was unable to go into work. He doesn't call in that often because he really, truly hates it--the less days he is there, the less opportunity he has to sell, and since he is in a commission-based position, it is better that he be there.

Anyways, he woke up on Saturday feeling so awful that he only made it halfway to work before he had to call in and come back home. We figured a little rest and he would start feeling better, but it kept getting worse and worse.

Monday, he was just miserable so he finally made an appointment to go see Dr. Smith (our PCP, kind of). Here's what he had to say:

Michael has a pretty severe staph infection that has affected his lymph nodes. Dr. Smith wanted Michael to go straight to the emergency room, but Mike wanted to avoid spending the money to do that as a last resort. So, Dr. Smith has prescribed a heavy duty dose of antibiotics (free, thanks to United's antibiotic program--hurrah!), as well as an antibacterial medical soap called Hibiclens. He told Michael not to go into work for a few days and to take it easy as much as possible, and if it gets any worse that we are to go straight to the hospital. For the next couple of days, Michael needs to go back to the doctor and check in to monitor progress.

In case you were wondering:

Staphyloccocus is a group of bacteria that look like a bunch of grapes when viewed under a microscope. It is found naturally in the nose and on the skin of about 25-30% of healthy adults. For the most part, staph doesn't cause any problems--the skin is a very effective protective barrier. But when the skin is damaged in any way, it gives the staph bacteria an opportunity to get into the cells and start wreaking some havoc.

The big concern here is that if staph makes it into the blood stream, it can cause sepsis (blood poisoning), a more serious condition. So we do want to handle this as promptly as possible.

So that has been what is going on for the last several days--Michael has had to stay home, and the medicine is making him even sicker, and he is just miserable. Hopefully he will start feeling better soon because tomorrow we have to take Gabriel to the ENT to have the hearing test.

I'll keep you updated!

~Andie~

New News

Okay, so yesterday we had the Speech Therapy appointment with Cassie, who expressed concerns about the developmental pediatrician not contacting us back with an appointment yet. Dr. Stripling had of course cautioned us that there was a waiting list to see Dr. Rogers, but that he (Dr. Stripling) would want Gabriel to have met with all the specialists before the summer was out.

The specialists being:

1. The allergist/immunologist to discuss the chronic sinus infections. We met with Dr. Shome on May 8th and everything came back negative; we have had Gabriel on the antihistamines and nasal spray and antibiotic since.

2. The Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor (ENT) who will determine if Gabriel is experiencing any hearing loss, if he needs to have tubes put in his ears, and if he needs to have his adenoids and/or tonsils removed. We meet with Dr. Marchbanks on June 8th--a week from yesterday.

and 3. The developmental pediatrician to determine if Gabriel has a social or developmental disorder like autism, pervasive developmental disorder-not otherwise specified, or Asperger syndrome.

We were having trouble with that last one--we didn't even know if she took our insurance, and her office has yet to contact us.

Cassie asked me to talk to Tammy--the licensed family counselor and child developmental specialist that sees Gabriel for his social issues--about possibly getting in to see another specialist that can assess Gabriel and his failed M-CHAT so we could get seen before the summer let out.

The M-CHAT, or Modified Checklist for Autism in Toddlers, is a test that is administered by the pediatrician when the child is a 12-18 months old to check for early indicators for autism. With developmental disorders, early intervention can make a world of difference in the manageability as the child gets older. Gabriel failed this screening because:

he does not take an interest in other children;

he does not engage in pretend play;

he does not point to indicate interest;

he has never progressed out of oral exploration;

pica (eating non-food items);

failure to make eye contact;

ear plugging/covering his ears;

does not imitate behaviors or facial expression;

does not respond to his name when called;

does not try to interest parents or caregivers in his activities;

there have been concerns that he may be deaf;

does not speak at all, although he is two years old;

and he engages in repetitive and limited play.

Seeing the complete list makes me more discouraged and worried than before. Crap.

Sorry--focusing.

The way Dr. Stripling put it is that some behaviors that are considered autistic behavior are also perfectly normal little boy behavior--there is a good deal of overlap. But with so many red flags popping up, it would be remiss of me and Michael to just ignore these things. That is why Gabriel has been meeting with Tammy, as the best thing we can do with Gabriel is to work with him from an early age, whether he is perfectly normal and just a little unsocial, or if he does have a social/developmental disorder.

Well, Tammy came over this morning and I shared with her the concerns that Dr. Roger's office had not called back yet; so Tammy called a psychologist that specializes in child development named Dr. Driskell and her associate, who not only takes our insurance but would be happy to meet with Gabriel on June 23rd!

I know that these concerns have been eating at me and Michael. We realize that it would be irresponsible and unethical to diagnose Gabriel too soon, and that most doctors won't give a definitive diagnosis until Gabriel is 3 or 4 years old; so it is unlikely that we are going to get a clearcut and definitive answer on the 23rd. But (at least for me--I cannot speak for Michael) the fact that we are accomplishing things, we are moving things forward and we are staying on top of this, makes me feel better and worry less. I want to feel like we are doing everything we can, that we are doing the best for Gabriel.

So, I wanted to update y'all on that front--let you know how that was coming along. We are making progress and coming along =) I will update more as we get through appointments!

~Andie~

Afternoon

After the rough and tense morning yesterday, the kids and I were ready to settle down and try to regroup. After a lunch of tacos and burritos, we go back and lay down for nap in my very warm room. With the ac unit running and the fan on it was at least bearable back there, but it was far from comfortable with a warm little kid on each arm. Laying down, we start to unwind, to relax and fall asleep....

And the doorbell rings.

It was Clay, the really nice maintenance guy that we really like because he is always professional and does a great job but is very personable while doing it. He has come to look at my bathroom sink because it has been draining poorly for a few days. Unfortunately, my bathroom is right off my room, where Gabriel is sleeping and Emerald is just starting to relax.

Clay fixes my sink quickly and quietly, never waking Gabriel, which was awesome, then he leaves and I lay back down with the kids to try and sleep.

And the doorbell rings....again.

Struggling to my exhausted feet, I shuffle to the front door, where the Swann's man is waiting to ask if I need anything. I wish I could help the guy out but I am exhausted and Michael has all the money, so I send him away. Collapsing on the bed, I wish so badly to fall asleep--Gabriel has been sleeping soundly, but the constant interruptions has prevented Emerald from drifting off, so she has just been laying there for an hour or so. Hugging her close to me, I close my eyes, hoping I can get at least a half hour before Gabriel wakes up.

And the doorbell rings...for the third freaking time.

Seriously. Three times my doorbell rings all this week and it turns out to all be on the same day during the same nap time?! That is more than bad luck--that is some evil plot.

It's Rick, who is back to finish fixing the air conditioner. He said something about shoddy wiring when the ac was installed that he needed to replace, and I keep thinking about the fire hazard bad wiring poses. The whole thing is set up right between my room and Emerald's room, which means that the noise has officially woken Gabriel up and Emerald has no hope of going to sleep.

It is going to be a rough rest of the day, can't you tell??

Rick fixes the AC fairly quickly and leaves, and our house is finally starting to cool down, which is nice. But my nerves are super frayed from the stressful day--everything else going on, I just want it to be over, but we are only half way through.

Gabriel's speech therapist had left a message on my phone that she was running late and would be late to our 4pm appointment. Since I am supposed to be at Ken and Rhonda's for Daddad's birthday party at 5, this poses problems--we aren't going to be done until a good deal past five.

Speech went just fine as always, and afterwards I get me and the kids ready so that when Michael came home, we could go to the party.

The party was a lot of fun, but the kids were exhausted and whiny and generally unpleasant. Gabriel wasn't too bad because at least he had a little nap, but he was a lot fussier than normal. Emerald was having a rough time of it.

I noticed that Emerald kept hiding herself--under tables, in back bedrooms, in corners. I figured she needed to poop but was afraid; she was looking for a quiet place and enough time to be able to handle her business but people (like me) kept coming to find her. Michael agreed with me so I bustled her off to the bathroom where she sat on the potty, but she was scared of how unstable she felt and how big the seat was when she didn't have her potty seat. We must have sat there for 15 minutes--her on the potty, me on the floor encouraging her--but I had to admit that I was probably wrong because she was just not doing anything, and we were missing the whole party hiding out in the bathroom. I put her back into a pull-up and we rejoin the group.

5 minutes later, Michael informs me that Emerald pooped in her panties.

=/

I can tell she is trying. She doesn't like to go potty when I am in the room anyway--she likes me to stand outside the door if she is actually doing her business--and she didn't feel comfortable on the unfamiliar potty. She did try hard, she just still couldn't do it. One day she will, but as it is I don't want to rush her--she will get it when she is ready. She may not be ready until she is 10, but...

The kids' attitudes just became intolerable after that, so we loaded up the car and took them home. The gift I had ordered for Michael arrived--a 10-piece bar tool set, because he likes entertaining. I gave the kids a bath and a hot cocoa and they fell asleep within 15 minutes. Michael and I finally got an evening to ourselves, without the kids....and we were both so exhausted we went to sleep shortly after the kids, lol.

At least today we have all had a good night's sleep, so hopefully it will be better today than it was yesterday!!

~Andie~

Our Morning

Before we can talk about our morning, I have some recap from tomorrow for you--

Yesterday, our house was not cooling off the way we would like it to; it was staying pretty stuffy despite the AC being on. So we turned it off and opened the four big windows of the living room, turned on all the fans, and let the house kind of air out because we were having friends over for dinner.

The Mann's are really cool people. Michael is the assistant manager at the Gamestop that my Michael and I like to go to, so that's how the husbands met--bonding over video games. Pam (his wife) is a nurse, and just a really nice, fun person. They have a 16 month old son named Daniel (or Danny or DJ) that I used to babysit for, but is now in daycare.

Obviously because of all the scheduling conflicts, it has been hard for all of us to get together for dinner in months. But we finally coordinated it and made it happen.

Emerald woke up yesterday with a sour tummy, but some bananas helped her feel worlds better, which was good. Mike had a half day so we went to Wal-Mart to get groceries, and ended up getting a few things for my car. It was a lot of fun because I don't think Mike and I have laughed that hard together in a long time--not since the first time we saw the feature length "Mystery Science Theater 3000" where they watched "This Island Earth" or whatever. We always have a lot of fun =)

Michael decided the best plan for dinner was fat sandwiches. In case you don't watch Man vs Food as religiously as we do, a fat sandwich is basically all these great bar foods rammed into one sandwich. It's really good and a lot of fun to make, but superbly unhealthy, so I set out a veggie tray to kind of soften the blow, lol.

So anyways, we have the Mann's over to dinner, and they leave around 8 to put DJ to bed and we start wanting to wind the kids down--we shut all the windows and Mike goes to turn on the AC which we've had off all afternoon.

It won't turn on.

Like, at all.

We flip it to heater, to fan, to AC....nothing works, and it is just NOT coming on. My first thought was that at least it went out at night when it was going to be cooler, especially since a thunderstorm was blowing in which would cool off the air further.

Wrong. =/

According to the weather report, the temperature is not going to drop below 80 degrees. And I don't know if you have ever been pregnant, but 80 degrees is not a comfortable temperature. All four of us (even during the winter) are used to sleeping at around 64 degrees--and because of stuffiness of the house, we are all starting to get very short tempers.

Michael and I waffle and bicker back and forth for hours as the kids lay in the living room with the four big windows opened again watching "Fantasia". Our options are going to get oscillating fans and hoping that will cool off the house enough for us to sleep (but we would have to spend extra money we don't have on a chance of cooling off), or we can figure out how to get the window unit up and operating.

About midnight, we finally make the window unit work and stick in the window--the house cools down enough for us to settle down, and we have contacted someone to come out the next day and look at our AC. We all lay down in the living room and start trying to fall asleep.

I wasn't able to get comfortable so I didn't get to sleep until well past 3, which means that today, all four of us are so exhausted we can barely function. That is how today started.

We wake up slowly, cuddling and watching Sesame Street and eating poptarts after Michael has left for work. When I finally work up the energy, we clean up some, though you wouldn't be able to tell by looking now--it's all ready been trashed again. The kids were agreeable for sleepy children, and very helpful.

By that time, I have decided that it is time for Mommy to do something for herself.

This pregnancy has been a lot harder on me than the other two, and I am not certain why. I have been in a great deal of pain, very uncomfortable, and growing much faster. Sometimes the pain becomes frankly unbearable. I have asked the doctor's office about it several times, but all their advice was not able to alleviate my pains--the maternity belt, resting and taking it easy, painkillers....When I mentioned it again, the doctor sadly said that there really wasn't anything they could do--it was my third pregnancy and my body was just tired. Anyways, I was getting desperate, because I was so very physically miserable.

Naturally, I call my mom,who suggests stretching and exercising. Worth a shot--I get on Netflix and find a "Yoga Mama" video so that I don't have to pay for a new DVD when I am not certain it will work. This morning was the first opportunity I had to try it.

Emerald and I clear out a big space in the living room, and I try the modified yoga for preggos.

It was hard to get in the mindset because everything the woman is saying sounds like hippie new age crap, but Emerald is having fun, so I keep going.

After a while, I did start feeling relaxed and calmer, and the stretches are really making me feel better than I have in a long, long time. Even though it is hard to focus when Gabriel is crawling between my legs and banging on my butt like it's a bongo (made me feel like a lardo, let me tell ya), but by the end, I was feeling much better. A lot of the stretches were to open up the pelvis and increase the womb space so that the baby wouldn't feel as smooshed, so even Benjamin was awake and playing and having a good time.

I am hoping that I can find someone to do it with me, but unfortunately I don't know anyone else that is pregnant and I don't know that my friends would want to do maternity stretches, so I am probably on my own.

Feeling rejuvenated and much calmer, the kids and I go outside.

Out there, I remember that Gabriel has an ECI appointment this afternoon for Speech Therapy and that we have a family dinner tonight for Daddad's birthday, and I see Gabriel eating chalk and Emerald taking a mud bath and I start to feel tense. So I fish Emerald out of the mud and clean her up a bit and I go to take the chalk away from Gabriel, but I can't see him anywhere and I start to panic...but he is just hiding behind the shed so that I can't take his chalk away. But they aren't behaving anyway--doing things they know they are not supposed to be doing, so we start heading inside.

As usual, Gabriel is the first to charge in, but I stay behind for a half a second to get Emerald to throw away a piece of trash she was playing with....but I hear an unfamiliar male voice inside talking to my son. I know it is not my husband's voice, and I know that Michael is not supposed to be home for another hour. I also know for a fact that the front door was locked because I am still very cautious after Gabriel's little escape escapade a couple months back where he ended up across the street. For that second, I know my son is inside with some unknown male and I don't know what to do.

Just then, the head of Rick--the guy from maintenance--pops out of the open door and I just about faint. I had forgotten that Michael had sent in that request to have the air conditioning fixed. If the guy comes by and nobody answers the door, he lets himself in to fix the problem while we are gone. Because the kids and I were in the backyard, we did not hear the doorbell ring.

Now, I take invasion of my house more stressfully than I ought. I have a hard time getting over it because my house is my sanctuary, and I want somewhere to be safe for me and my kids. When people come into my personal space (like pushy door-to-door salesmen, or Mormons, or well-intentioned maintenance men just doing their job), I get very uncomfortable and it takes me days to feel safe again. I hate it. I don't like people in my home.

Rick has since left to run some errand and the kids and I are scheduled to take a nap--Michael brought me a jumbo ice from sonic, which is helping immensely. I really like ice. It is nice and cold and has a nice crunch.

Hopefully I can calm down before Cassie gets here this afternoon.

-tense-

~Andie~